Friday, 4 July 2014

The Imaginarium

Now what did I come into this room for? Like a fairy glamour spell my mind is clouded as I claw at my memories in vain.
The Imaginarium sat in the corner collecting dust as it had always done except it never collected dust.
The whole house was a zoo for Tribble like creatures made from black dog hairs but never on the Imaginarium, out of sight out of mind but always in my peripheral just waiting for the right time.

It was five minutes past the right time unless you tell the time sideways then what goes around gets around.
I looked towards the Imaginarium, my mind not in the moment, I haven't been in the moment for a while now distracted, feeling myself fade in and out, no the milk does not go into the cupboard with the plates.
The Fairies were trying to take me to claim me which was why I had an iron knife in every room and a Rowan tree in the garden. They taunt and jeer me and call up my cell phone trying to sell me things I never asked for, the dog hates them and they fear her teeth.

I force myself to cross the room, the back of my brain is screaming at me, 'You'll never know!' fear takes me, what if I will never know? What is it that I need to know?

The things you need to reveal your true self what if you never find out what they are? Somehow the knowledge has been taken and hidden in my head with glimpses to it's greatness but nothing more. I am not the same as you there has been a mistake! This life of consuming, defecating and fornicating is meant for instinctive animals with young easily mended souls. It hurts me being this, who put me under such an enchantment, such a curse?

Life is a gift that was forced onto me, can I not regift it?  

When the time is right I'll know, but the time has been left for the past hour can I trust you to tell me or will you do what the mischievous fates always do and tell me on my death bed? Careful what you wish for as the devil is in the details.

I reach out to the Imaginarium, unsure of what to touch but my fingers find the way and muscle memory saves the day. 

I am enveloped in a harsh white light, my black dog growls then bravely hides under the table. Yes it's all coming back to me, I am cursed I am damned, 100 million 200 million 300 million to a time before years existed. Guiding, cajoling in the vast black emptiness, cold and very lonely.

The dawn of a new era every time I dream, 1000 different lifetimes 1000 ways to be betrayed and to die, conquering, destroying and building. The ancients were you but more, look at yourself diluted by progress and worthy of my scorn.

A tribe, a village a town a city too many minds with too many prayers, is it any wonder I went insane, dripping my insanity onto you, tainting your hearts and twisting the word.

Die in the cold, die as the water fills your lungs, die on your knees, I could not kill my way out of it and god knows I tried.

He knew I tried because they were his hands that I grasped her throat with, that I cut them down with. I knew too much and did too much damage making orphans with merry glee, I am not who you think I am I am not everywhere I am somewhere. I must anchor myself to the flesh and continue this lie of an existence and hope to be saved.

The Imaginarium closes down and my head is clear from all the screaming once again, all is quiet.

Now what did I come into this room for?  

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