Thursday, 10 July 2014

I Landed On The Moon

For years now I've told you that the moon landing was fake and that it was shot in a studio in Arizona but now I have a confession to make, it really happened.

Who is going to believe me? Well who cares? Due to the recession the US government have been cutting back of their disinformation agents and so it doesn't pay me to make up shit anymore, now it's just a hobby. Why have there been so many conspiracies around the moon landing?  Well that was to cover something else up.

Old Knudsen might have been the first man on the moon, who knows? Back then we weren't keeping score, we were just trying to survive. Earth was under attack from a race of bug like aliens who were based on the moon.
We don't know their motive or real name, we called them cliggs from the sound they made. After taking out our base on Mars they headed towards the Earth.

Like pill bugs or roly polys they'd roll up into a ball and then fall through the atmosphere using their exoskeleton to protect them and then they'd unfurl and go on a killing spree.  If people saw them fall they might think it was a meteor, on the bright side it was a larger world back then, no one was connected by camera phones and so you could engage in genocide in the more rural parts of the world.

The queen bug was on the moon spewing offspring at Earth, I was already there waiting for Armstrong to deliver NASA's latest super weapon. We lost some good men on Mars and Old Knudsen wanted payback. He also wanted to visit the all female base on Venus that the NASA nerds kept babbling about. 

Armstrong landed on the moon cos I was there!       

Why did their landing module not make a crater? It did weigh 17 tons but on the moon it only weighed about 2 and a half. NASA weren't dumb enough to land it on sand, that thing touched doon on solid rock that had a thin layer of sand. 

Why did the flag wave? Once something starts to move on the moon it keeps doing it .... duh!

What about the shadows going in different directions that obviously means various light sources right? 

Well that proves the landing was a fake .... no wait, that proves yer a moron. 

The rock with a 'C' that proves it was a movie studio. No, that proves that even in space yer pubes will find their way into yer unopened butter ..... explain that one.   The c was a pube on the lens. 

What other amazing things have bored virgins noticed? Reflections in helmet visors maybe, you've got this thing called lens flare which is on several pictures, it's a phenomenon that also happens on Earth. Now you also have this thing called photoshop which can convince a new generation too lazy to Google the truth.

Can't be lens flare, obviously must be from studio lights. The government lies to you on a regular basis about things that effect you and yet this is what you go on about. 

Why no stars in the sky when they took photos? Ever try to take a photo of the moon using yer average 14 megapixel camera? only the very brightest of stars will show and that is with our modern cameras. Go take a pic of a street light and see if any stars show up in the picture. It isn't rocket science dude. 
On brightly lit streets you can't even see stars with yer eyes, figure it out ya dope. 

I'm sorry to ruin yer delusions but it did indeed happen and I did indeed destroy the queen Cligg and her army. The moon is still highly contaminated with radiation so we won't be going there anytime soon.
Now what do we have left? well, Elvis did die in 1977 on the toilet, Jimmy Hoffa Amelia Earhart and Lord Lucan did get abducted by the Greys for hybrid experiments and some ragheads did indeed fly into the WTC because seriously folks, Bush was president, he couldn't even make a success of his own domestic spying programs never mind anything else, he destroyed the American dream and the economy, the man was an idiot.  Yes it took Obama to make those programs work but that is because of his reptilian hybrid mind which is most devious. 



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