Friday, 25 July 2014

Burritos ... Ask Me How

Besides Boojum in Belfast there aren't many places to get a burrito in Northern Ireland. Old Knudsen likes Del Taco and Bakers and he used to like Taco Bell until they cut back on their portions but now he'd even take that.

Gingo friendly Mexican food is what I want, not what they call Mexican food here, it's atrocious ... a few peppers do not Mexican food make.

So after a couple of year without any I went on the hunt for something that passed for gringo burritos and found ingredients that worked. I now share my findings with other Northern Ireland plebs who are sick of potatoes.
It's easy to cook and can be done well within an hour, 30 mins if you aren't stopping to take pictures. 

The ingredients:

I use this as the rice filler because I'm a chicken sort of person. This can be found in Sainsburys.

I prefer flour tortillas which can be bought in various sizes at Sainsburys or Tesco.

An onion and some chicken. I usually get breast meat but I fucked up and got thigh for some reason, ah well it all comes out the same.

Salsa and guacamole from Sainsburys, just any old stuff will not do. Get tortilla chips and use these as dips if you want.

Yoghurt instead of sour cream, this is from Sainsburys. Don't buy stuff called sour cream or guacamole from the makers of Mexican type food brands as they are just easy to pour shite.

You can add peppers if you want, I usually add a small can of diced tomatoes but I forgot them.

Cilantro, otherwise known as coriander.  

Refried beans as found at Sainsburys and Tesco.

The most important part .... hat sass! A burrito is just a means to get hot sauce into my gob. I found Cholula at Tesco, that's the stuff real illegal immigrants would use so it must be nice. If you can't get that then something like Texas pete, if you can't get that then Frank's hot sauce but do try to get Cholula.

So easy to make.  Wash and chop yer coriander and put it in a Tupperware. Then chop yer onion and put it to the side for now. To avoid crying while peeling an onion, do it underwater, many swimming pools frown upon this but if you do it sneakily they won't have a clue. I've made whole stews in local swimming pools.

Then chop yer chicken, obviously you chop that last to avoid cross contamination. I hope you've already washed yer hands before cooking and after handling raw meat. Old Knudsen may not wash his cock for months at a time but he does believe in hand washing and will notice every single time a food handler touches their face or hair. Some of those TV cooks are durty buggers, a 3 second hand wipe on a cloth does not mean clean.      
I also disinfect areas that I've had the packaging of raw meat on before carrying on with the cooking cos I have OCD issues.

Cook yer chicken in a pan (a deepish panwith a lid) with some oil until it's cooked .... I'll assume you know what cooked chicken looks like. I like to cook chicken with paprika cos I like the pretty colour.

Throw in yer onion and other veg if you have it, let that cook then throw in yer rice from the one pan meal, let that cook for 1 minute, stirring of course.

Add 350ml of water, the El Paso sauce and seasoning and stir.

Not very encouraging, it looks like a soup of sorts. Bring to boil then lower the temp to simmer. I put the lid on the pan and set ma timer for 15 mins.

Stir a couple of times while it's simmering.

As if by magic it becomes food. Not very colourful since I forgot the tomato and didn't add pepper but oh so tasty.

I then empty a can of refried beans into a bowl and microwave it for 2 mins. 

If you cook using gas then you can toast the tortilla over the flame for 5 seconds each side or just microwave it.

The rice meal, beans, salsa, guac, yogurt, coriander onto the tortilla. I've under filled this one since I eat like yer lass in the top pic. 

Now you have a burrito, pour yer hat sass onto it as you eat .

Everything can be packed into Tupperware containers and kept in the fridge, the tortillas can get a clamp put onto the package and put in too.... the hot sauce can stay out. 

I'll feed off this for a week just adding everything onto a tortilla and microwaving it for a minute or so.  

Good light food for hot summer days, once the work is done there is no cooking .... unless you run out of beans and have to open another can.

Now you have the secret of Old Knudsen's burritos, use this knowledge with respect, it's all about the ingredients so do try to get them.  


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