Monday, 30 June 2014

Men Of God Are Wild

Wise men going from village to village dispensing wisdom to the young is something we need more of these days. My blog is a 21st century evolution of that, and mostly because I can't be arsed going out as I'm allergic to stupid people.

No offence you stupid twat.

One such wise man is Justin Lookadoo, can ya just try to get past the name? no wonder yer trapped within the hell cycle of reincarnation, you'll never get enlightened and achieve what all enlightened people strive for .... total apathy.
I once asked a holyman sitting calmly under a tree while all the villagers were being rounded up and executed and their cattle raped and slaughtered for food, how he could remain so calm. Does this not anger you old man? Don't you wish to fight back?

 A hipster holyman who was praying long before anyone else started praying.

He slowly gazed around then looked at me and smiled and said, "All my fucks have been given today."  with that pearl of wisdom I told him to go get with the other dead men walking then I burnt his sacred Bodhi tree doon,  aye I was a right cunt in the 80's ..... the 1880's that is, I've mellowed out somewhat these days.          

Justin Lookadoo  is a Christian motivational speaker or a Christianist if you like. Old Knudsen accepts that wisdom can come from anywhere and so remains open to it. Lookadoo has taken it upon himself to travel around US high schools to show young people the kind of values and morals they need to instill for life.

"Dateable girls know how to shut up" ..... yes indeed, it's like you've read my journal. Those are also the ones who try to trap you with pregnancy, all young men should practice looking into the mirror, shrugging and saying, "I thought YOU were taking care of that."

Lookadoo says that gurls should accept their girly-ness and that the sexiest thing on a girl is happiness. Well you can't really go to high schools and talk about firm young bodies and perky breasts, trust me I've tried but they just aren't ready to listen.

Lookadoo the former juvenile probation officer with too much of an interest in the sex life of teenagers also says: 

Girls need to know their place and be subservient while at the same time being mysterious and confident but no little miss independent. Guys need to be needed so you should let them be needed while letting them lead because God made guys as leaders and to just let them be guys.

As they say in India and Pakistan, 'boys will be boys' and 'sometimes rape is wrong' we should learn from ancient cultures like that, not in a religious way as they are heathens but in a just about trust them to go to the shops for you way.

Men of God are wild and boys need to be strong, be honest and not look at porn. Dateable guys are real men who aren’t afraid to be guys. Bring God into it. “What would He say if he was talking to me through this situation?” ... well if it was a young virgin lying asleep then god would probably fuck her without her knowing about it, that shit be immaculate bitch!

Call the baby Jesus or Bob, I don't care it isn't mine.
Good idea, wear a t-shirt with a puke pattern already on it.

What's this? Police found Lookadoo sitting in his car by the side of the road covered in puke and smelling like a brewery?
He told them he pulled over for a nap, I guess all that drinking tired the little man out. Justin, do you consider yerself a dateable guy?
The Federal government pays for him to speak to school kids, he covers issues such as keeping schools safe and drug free, abstinence education, pregnancy prevention, tobacco prevention. He was also once part of a group that cured gheys of their gheyness. Like Dr Hoose, "It's nat lupus, he's queer as a 2 dollar bill."

I'm sure that look he had going on prevented many a pregnancy and helped him with abstinence .... well not with the drunk driving obviously.

Those rapey eyes are checking out yer young firm happiness and yer tight underage dateability. His wisdom is wasted on the young people who dismiss his federally sanctioned misogynistic rape talks as he has been trolled mercilessly and is now known as Lookadouche.  Children can be so cruel eh Justin? aye, sexy and cruel ..... I'd date the fuck out of her. 

They persecuted Jesus when he loved everyone whether they liked it or not, they persecuted Ken Ham when he said that of course there were kangeroos on the ark, just because you haven't found any evidence to back up what I claim doesn't make it false ..... well they should have persecuted that cunt, what's wrong? get stuck in there.

And on the third or was it the fourth day? God dith cross a sheep and a kangeroo and what he got'tith was named by Adam as a knitted leaper, thank fuck scientists renamed it a wooly jumper. Tastes like chicken and is a little stringy.

Hold on a minute, Ham, who is the best smelling creationist ever says that there were kangaroos on the ark. How the fuck did they get the 7,000 miles to Australia? Within the 6,000 years that the earth has existed there has not been any land bridges, maybe they hopped over land then fell into the sea and floated there on a log.
Then why isn't there kangaroos in the Middle east and Asia .... too many questions um God did it! Well that's a little implausible. Maybe God got an Emu to swoop doon and grabbed a pregnant roo and flew it to Australia, then one of the lions from the Ark ate the only male.  Now that sounds far more likely.

Oh and God shrunk the Emus wings after the flight because he's a cunt and does shit like that. No mentally stable god floods the entire world to kill a science experiment that has gotten out of hand, rapes young gurls and sits back and watches his son being brutally tortured and then makes Justin Bieber famous.

What if God was Joffrey ? a sick fuck like Joffrey, who kills strangers on the bus trying to make their way home.

Before God stopped talking to humans and stopped doing miracles (when camera phones were invented) he did get on like a bit of a Joffrey. You die and get to Heaven, the Hound is on the gate telling you that there is no where fucking safe now get in and you find that God is King Joffrey.

"Look on the bright side" says St Michael, otherwise known as the hand "he's getting married tomorrow and yer invited" ....... Aye who doesn't like a wedding? Don't wear white wear red, it'll not show any stains as much.


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