Monday, 23 June 2014

Intellectual Conspiracy Uncovered

For years now we have had to hear about how intelligent Stephen Hawking is or his cronies Neil deGrasse Tyson, Bill Nye the Science Guy, Brian Cox, Walter Bishop, Michio Kaku, Rodney McKay or Robert fucking Winston are. Oh they are sooo clever the way they can talk to us stupid people as if we are on their ever so high level.
Have you ever met a college graduate who calls themselves a PhD, Doctor or Professor who isn't full of themselves and who doesn't look doon on mere mortals who were too busy getting laid to waste time with education? ... you have? ok then have you ever met five? ... got ya. 

Then you have the pretend intelligent ones like Stephen Fry who may have portrayed Oscar Wilde but he is no Oscar Wilde. He's intelligent like Jay Leno is funny .... with the help of writers. 

'In World war II America had segregation in it's armed forces unlike we British'  ... says a smug anti-American Fry on his TV show IQ.  Aye we didn't have segregation, we also didn't have enough black people in Britain for it to be a factor, our blacks and browns were in the parts of our Empire flung out all over the globe, yep fully integrated African, Indian and Nepalese regiments which all of course had white officers .... cos you couldn't trust a wog/fuzzy to do that work. Whip the blighters into shape if they don't work hard enough. 
If you didn't have any Irish to use as cannon fodder you'd use them before you sent in the nice white British troops .... aye we were sooo enlightened compared to the Yanks, still are. 

You may fool everyone else Fry but Old Knudsen eats truth for breakfast and yes, it does taste like chicken.

 An excited school leaver trying to choose from all the possible careers she could apply for .... KFC or BK? such a decision to make. What are yer tits like? I'm sure you could go on the game.

In the UK we don't really do education, that's for middle class cunts with ambition. Unlike the US we don't graduate from school, there is nothing to celebrate except the 'getting out' of school. While Americans have High school graduates which sounds like an achievement we have school leavers...

On the last day of school you go up to the school administrator and they hand you a brown paper package tied up with string. Inside are all yer hopes, dreams, ambitions and creativity you began with in life but now they are all dried up and smashed to pieces .... enjoy being an adult. 
                                                         At their club talking smart shit.

I have found that all of those uber intelligent people on the telly telling you how great the cosmos is actually spend 80% of their time online trolling. They all attend a secret Hellfire skull and boner gentleman's club ..... cos weemen aren't intelligent enough to be genius' ..... was Einstein a lady? nope, case closed.
Yahoo answers is full of fake profiles with questions and answers, all made up by these scientists. 

The question of what to do from the high school gurl who got her first kiss from a guy at school that she had a crush on, only to fart onto his hand when he grabbed her ass, classic Neil deGrasse Tyson.

Did NASA create thunderstorms to mask the sound of space battles? ..... That's a Hawking, he loves that space shit.
Don't get him started on blackholes or other shit that won't get proven anytime soon, well played sir. 

What percentage of water is celery?  Celery has no nutrition and is mostly all water so what percentage of water is it?  

What techno song is this? I don't know what it's called but it's stuck in my head. Dun Dun Dun Dun, Dun Dun Dun Dun, errrr, Dun Dun Dun Dun Dun etc etc. 

The best answer to that was, some were dropped as babies, you were thrown at a wall. 

Aye scientists can be quite bitchy at times.  

Write this to get at Stephen Fry, 'Do gay people have feelings?' 

Evolution question: How did Sloth's survive for so long?   Answer: They worship Satan, clearly.

No one could be that stupid. These scientists are putting up these questions and answers to 1) feed you false facts ..... we all know Sloths went extinct thousands of years ago and are all now CGI as played by Andy Serkis. 2) they are trying to make themselves appear more intelligent by making everyone else look dumb. 

I suspect I have several of these brainiacs on my Facebook friends list passing themselves off as normal-ish people, maybe cos Old Knudsen is the most likely candidate to be onto them. It must have been yon Mensa test I did that alerted them, my score came back as 'we can't give you a score if you don't take the questions seriously'  which really means, we are threatened by yer dangerous intellect and will be watching you from now on. 
I wondered who owned yon dark blue Volkswagon Passat that had been parking a few doors doon, I had assumed it was a client round for an afternoon delight with Mavis but I bet it was a science guy.

Some normal people (IQ of mid to high 20's) do write on Yahoo answers if they can't be bothered Googling and reading what comes up and using critical thinking to find the possibly answers. (life is too short for finding knowledge) One asked if some bats make a noise that humans can hear.  

Those master race smart arses had a field day with answers like cricket bat and baseball bat.  How are lazy people ever going to get proper answers with Bill Nye the trolling guy online? 

Nye-  Hey Tyson, tell me if this is racist, "Are Japanese people born knowing Kung-fu?" .... "I only want to know if it's safe to rob my Japanese neighbor."  

Tyson- Fuck yeah it's racist you cracker motherfucker  ......  Nye- good, I'll use it then. 

Tyson- Hey look what roller boy put up,  "Do you eat food? Or gravity?"

Nye- Hawking gives me the creeps and you can never tell by his voice if he's serious or not.  

Is there a good way to prevent my GF from getting pregnant?  My friend told me you can put a straw up her vagina and suck her eggs out, is that true???  

I'm still awaiting an answer on this, c'mon it's time sensitive for fucks sake.  


1 comment:

Cathy said...

Geez I have to agree sometimes I feel like an idiot when I know I'm not a bona fide moron, but guys who insist on "schooling" my ignorant brain in such a snobby way give me cramps. So what do we believe, a panel of researchers as opposed to one individual? Or is all this up for grabs anyway? I know I know nothing, so I'm depending on people who devote their lives to finding out. If they insist on being a-holes I'll look elsewhere. But where???