Sunday, 4 May 2014

Sexy Workout Post

How doesn't wear high heels to the gym?
So how does this work? you eye up the little sexy children all week and then go to church knowing it will save yer soul at the end? 
Well Old Knudsen isn't going to try to convert you Christians, Muslims and Jews to having sex with consenting adults instead of children as yer scriptures tell you to, he's going to motivate you.

Make yerself a better you so that when you die yer soul won't get tired climbing all those clouds. You want to outrun the Devil and get to the light don't you?

Old Knudsen is doing the Insanity workout, you jump around and sweat a lot while some meatheaded bloke on a DVD tells you to feel the burn. Now all of those fit birds who were out of my league (my wee joke... as if) now want me sexy chiseled body. 

I'm on a different level of sexy now, this is probably how Moses felt when he stood on his ark and watched his neighbours screaming and dying when the floods hit, or when Samson knocked out Goliath with a wee pebble  ...... fucking smug in other words.

I get hard just looking in the mirror at me hard body .... I'm so hard.

Those balls are just a load of balls, jump, kick punch the air and repeat 80 or 100 times until the gravy pours out of ya .

Working out makes yer brain wrinkly which means yer smarter. Look at yon slacker at the back wishing he had the smarts like yer human Shar-Pei. Arnold Schwarzenegger came up with the e=mc2 thing 3 weeks after starting his first ever workout.

Don't be a poser who spends more time on fashions and thinking what songs to play on their ear/eyepoddypad.

Werk it! Make yer body a temple and Gog will love you even more. 

Don't try telling me it already is a temple, the temple of Doom doesn't count. 

Turn yer life around and start stalking chicks at the gym rather than kids at Sunday school. 

Blokes at the gym like to take showers together ..... no idea why but you might like that. Would it hurt you to have cubicles?

Old Knudsen is solid from the neck doon, feel free to punch him in the stomach if you meet him on the street, aye punch him before he gets to punch you .....CUNT! 

I don't know about you but I feel tired out now, and me back is sore. I'll skip my weekly church protest, just assume everyone hates you and yer only fooling yerself you Hell bound pedos since I won't be there to taunt you. 

"It's easier for a pedo to go to church than it is for a camel to go through the eye of the tiger" ~ Jesus.

Ach fuck the shower, I'm going for a lie doon oiled up and all, I wonder if I can return these DVD's what a waste of time I'm in too good a shape for them anyway maybe I need something more challenging. 

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