Monday, 19 May 2014

Because Pilates Pants Sounds Stupid

It's Monday, cheer the fuck up and have some yoga pants.
Old Knudsen is the greatest blogger in the world, whether you agree or not. How many posts has he dedicated to yoga pants? At least 40 odd huh.

The other day while I was idling away the hours waiting for my doctor's appointment I saw a young lass with white yoga pants on and probably one of the finest arses I've ever seen. She was loud and common sounding and was accompanied by what was no doubt her spide boyfriend/pimp with his tracksuit leggings and his sports shirt with various logos on it. If only life came with ad-block plus so I wouldn't have to see these walking adverts.

  How Old Knudsen pictures his readers.

So this lass was either pregnant or had the clap, her yogo pants could have been painted on as I could see that her knickers were askew underneath. I only looked as I wanted to get the hole story ... er whole story in case I wrote about it on me blog .... and there was fuck all else to look at except crying babies ..... hey they started it. 

It's a fact of life that guys will look, just as surely as babies cry and weemen nag, guys will look at an arse in tight clothing. 
When Old Knudsen wears his tight flared troosers and a tight t-shirt he expects the weemen to check him out, expecting and it actually happening are two different things. 

When the lass turned round Old Knudsen made sure he didn't look at her as me casual gaze has often been described as a lecherous leer. Some people just don't understand body language. 

Remember, just because you can fit into yoga pants, ski pants or leggings .... whatever you call them, doesn't mean that you should wear them.  Black isn't slimming when yer a fat fucker, it isn't a miracle worker.

I saw this funny Youtube (which I'll not bother to post) of a bloke wearing yoga pants, and as he rummages around with his junk in the trunk some blokes that pass by look at his ass and he catches them at it. 

"I thought chu was a girl, mayne" oh, so it's ok if it was a girl? He just had impure sexual thoughts about a dude's bum, for 10 seconds or so he wanted to go shove his semi chubby up against that bent over butt. Ha ha yer ghey! 
If you get a lass home with you and then she turns out to be a man and if you turn doon the sex in disgust then yer ghey, if you make the most of it with any port in a storm then yer enlightened and resourceful .... a real man!
When weemen shave their beards things can get confusing.

Some of the blokes caught were offended at being caught out, one wanted to fight him and the above bloke wanted to playfully wrestle in a creepy way and the shirtless guy ran. When one guy said, "Yes I was looking, you have a nice ass" the yoga pants guy was stunned into silence. 

The guy did offer the blokes a touch if they wanted one and even twerked for them ... so very wrong. Why did I not post it? Cos not everyone wants to watch a video or can't where they are. When Old Knudsen clicks on a news story he gets annoyed when there is only video and no printed story.  Then when a Youtube is posted you feel like you've missed out on something so when you do watch it you fail to see what was so funny. Then you want to injury the person who posted it with a hammer to teach them that life isn't funny.

Is it right to eye up the ladies at a health clinic? The people who go there are usually not there because they are healthy. If they knew what Old Knudsen was there for they'd never have sat doon beside him. 
Ach That gurl's ass was probably her best feature and in 10 years it's gonna be um, less rounded. In a world in which we are so worried what others will think we get sad and join in with some self-loathing when others do not show an interest in our appearance and angry and outraged when they do.

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