Monday, 3 March 2014

Such A Boring Post

Are people obsessed about talking about the weather because it is something that we all must endure?
We no doubt feel that bonding sense of us against nature and so much back stab Mother Earth and her moods.

More likely because it's a safe mundane subject least likely to get yer nose broken over. Weather forecasters often get the weather wrong so you getting it wrong is fine...... you can't go wrong.  

Did you see that goal Bobby Bobson scored in the first half? if they get through to the final the blues will be playing them, Moore's knee injury will blah blah blah ..... the only thing more boring than the weather is sport.

Maybe Frank's long lost brother will reveal himself to the person behind the threatening phone calls, if not then sheila will use those pills she got from her lover Dr Walters and will poison the doctor's wife .... gotta go, dining with the dancing singing stars on ice is coming on ...... then again TV might be quite dull too.  

Peter Willis, a retired postman plans to photograph the hundred thousand odd post boxes in Britain because ...... well fuck knows. Oh you just never know what box you'll get and from what year and in what condition.
Ya know what? I was going to start heroin today but no, I'll photograph postboxes instead, just think the rush, the sheer adrenaline.
I bet the wife gets a really energetic banging after a day of post box spotting, 'I'll stuff a letter with the correct postage into yer slot ya bitch ..... post it, post it, post it!'


Chris Hemsworth the Australian soap actor turned Thor worries about appearing as a boring person.
He prefers to remain quiet and doesn't tell people about his personal life in case it's exploited .... aye whatever dude, you stand around looking glum barely uttering a word. Yer an Aussie jock who loves himself and you are boring, but yer pretty and have lovely hair and big muscles so yer boredom shall be forgiven.

  As long as Tom Hiddleston plays Loki, we will tolerate you.

In Northern Ireland politics is sooooo boring. You'll hardly get anyone telling you of their opinion unless it's a really safe topic like Ian Paisley and his Alzheimer soundbites.  The weather: well Brits whine like fuck, oh no it's raining, oh shit it's sunny ...... on a 100 metre stretch of road Old Knudsen counted 42 cars and only 4 of the drivers had sun glasses on while the big ball of light in the sky blinded all.
Well it gave them something to talk about right? Their boring life had meaning.

Books: I think the only books people read are as bad as the TV shows they watch. 50 shades of Grey was a talking point for a time as these boring people were told that a bit of bondage, a few slaps and a little biting was fun.

With the right person some fake rape can be sexy, if ya don't believe me just ask yer Ma.  What is the point to people with no imagination or passion?   

Work: If you talk about work with people who do not work with you then it's like telling people yer dream, unless I was in yer dream or there was sex in it .... with me then don't bother telling me.

Old Knudsen has envy for you boring people, imagine being pleased at having such pointless intercourse, never having an original thought and being happy about that.

Aye yer the boring fuckers that tell Old Knudsen he isn't funny when you miss the point of what he is saying, ach if only I could read yer *blog* to see how funny you are.

* As written by you, not 10 others who you take credit for and blogging about yer baby or yer dinner  isn't blogging*

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