Wednesday, 12 March 2014

Show It Off Before It Sags

Remember the outrage when Alice Eve changed clothes in Star Trek into the darkness? Everyone was all like 'this scene is sexist, gratuitous and totally is unnecessary.'  

The director JJ Abrams had to defend the scene and suddenly no one cared about Khan or who gets to shout his name, it was all about the objectification of weemen .

Old Knudsen likes the scene and can point out millions of other scenes that has nothing to do with the plot like why the fuck does Scotty have a midget alien as a pet?

You know what Old Knudsen didn't hear when Thor came out? ..... no, Thor didn't come out literally, hes still a closet ghey swinging his hammer at big men.
Old Knudsen didn't hear the outrage at him being given a shirt to change into and him walking around shirtless before he puts it on.

The masses were also silent during Thor the dark world ..... not to get confused with the into the darkness sequel, though they are both sequels.

In Riddick,  actress Katee Sackhoff had to defend her wash scene as that was called gratuitous but Old Knudsen says shut the fuck up lass and keep washing ..... slowly.   Just be grateful it was not Vin Diesel's pecs for a change. Fuck sake I'd wish he'd blow his blow, I'm sick of the way he speaks. 

In Pacific Rim-job  Charlie Hunnam got his kit off a couple of times, still a shite movie though. So what we have here is an imbalance. Either ban all shirtless and underwear scenes as no one in real life ever washes or stands in their underwear or just gurn up and keep objectifying the weemen, and the men. 

Some actors only have their muscles to get famous by so give them a break. Man of Steel will be remembered for it's crappy plot and potholes but they did try to hook the weemen with plenty of gratuitous Henry Cavill shirtless scenes. 

Maybe put more unnecessary scenes in, I mean everyone goes to the toilet (expect for our lovely Queen Elizabeth II also a sequel) 

Captain I just got clearance from Klingon high command to enter Klingon space, I just have to go for a shite and a smoke. 

Of course that would mean they have to put toilets onto the Enterprise.   

Old Knudsen hated the movie 21 Grams but remembers Naomi Watts' spring loaded nipple from it, so gratuitous scenes do have a reason. While I am semi aroused by yon nipple ranch there I am also a little sickened and nauseated that it is in the mouth of Sean Penn. 

Black Widow and Sleaze man

Penn gets around but so does Old Knudsen. Luckily Old Knudsen got there first as the idea of dating someone after Sean Penn is quite revolting. 



Cathy said...

Most insightful comparisons, Dr. Balls. I notice a "peeking" on TV double standard yet as a woman I must remind you of a time we ladies were verboten from even hinting that a bard-chested virile man like yourself might flutter our butterfly a bit. Men seem expected to be drawn to breasts of all kinds while we vagina-owners have only been granted "peek" rights for - well, we did it in secret but could've been jailed if caught. Those days are over and I'm just glad we can talk about this. I love the human form and love that you do, but most importantly, I want to puke on Sean Penn as well.

Old Knudsen said...

Breasts are wonderful, a lady here recently showed some side boob as a protest that weemen can't go topless unlike men. There are more double standards like weemen's guns sounding lighter than men it's the small touches that keep our sisters down. Penn would like you to puke on him, hes sick.