Saturday, 22 March 2014

Liam Neeson And The Shaggy Dog Story

The story going around that movie star Liam Neeson stopped a gang of teenagers from stoning a dog in Central park is untrue. A representative of the star told the press that Neeson did not tell three teenagers who were stoning a dog to stop or he'd beat the crap out of them and they did not flee at the sight of his Ballymena fury.

Neeson who ate wolf stew during the making of the movie The Grey hates dogs and would let the fucker die, in fact he is more likely to tape broken bottles to his hand and get stuck into it himself. 

What really happened was that Neeson was walking through the village area of Lower Manhattan when he saw 3 professional hitmen making unwanted advances towards an attractive Ascanian sheep.

Neeson approached them and told them to leave her alone or he'd kick the crap out of them. The hitmen just laughed. Neeson looked at them with the fury of a man on the edge and said "or else."

That was the last thing they heard as Nesson then used his mobile phone to beat them to death... it was all just a blur. Being a method actor Neeson has admitted that his role of Good cop/Bad cop in the Lego movie has been hard to escape. I still feel that I have a lot of the bad cop character in me and it builds up and turns into an explosive rage.

Nesson recently got into trouble when a mother of two tried to jump line at a bus stop. Neeson who wasn't even getting a bus pommeled the woman to the rapturous applause of the other passengers.

Earlier this year he made a citizens arrest on a smoker who thought that the world was his ashtray. Neeson, a life long Buddhist pistol whipped the elderly before calling the police.

The story with the lovely Ascanian sheep turned into a love story as Neeson and the sheep named Wispy are now dating.   

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