Monday, 2 December 2013

Facebook Has Magic Powers

Twice I've seen a picture like this on Facebook, seriously people? So you think that this is how God who created the stars the earth and bacon works?

God is waiting with his stopwatch and as soon as you read this and if you repost it he'll cure yer cancer or make yer lotto numbers cum up. If you take longer than 2 minutes he'll get pissed off at you and yer dog or cat will die? If you don't post at all will he send a plague to wipe out the town you live in?

Why the fuck do people pray then? Hey just go onto Facebook for yer special God bonus, are you friends with God on Facebook? he gives you free shit if you are. 

Why did mommy have to die?  well little Timmy it's because she wasn't a good person and just kept scrolling.

If you were a true Christian you'd be praying for someone else because you should already know that God is looking out for you.

Heres a big secret.

The NSA watch what you are doing online, not God. They are seeing if terrorists log on to porn sites in order to tell everyone and make them look bad.

God hates you and avoids yer hoose because Jenny up the road is far more interesting, shes getting those numbers tonight, she reposted and did one of those hearts on it which shows she really does believe.

God can be everywhere at once ..... doesn't mean he is though, could be 'if he wanted to' but yer life bores him.

Now on to the huge favour .... sorry favor.  Did yer hoose catch fire in the middle of the night and kill everyone? Was yer granny knocked doon on her way to bingo? Did you find out yer husband was having an affair? ....... yer fucking welcome.   

Many people struggle through life with illnesses or problems that you don't know about or can see. They are probably barely holding their shit together until you opened yer big fat mouth. Post this onto yer status for one hour if someone flew off the handle at you for no reason. I know many of you won't post this ..... thats because yer a cunt!

If you do post this within 2 minutes I will kill one person of yer choice. Post now while stocks last.

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