Friday, 27 December 2013

Doctor Who Gets Cancelled

Old Knudsen used to enjoy a Christmas around the telly with the family waiting for the Christmas Dr Who to cum on.
Turkey, potatoes, mince pies and a bottle of Christmas cheer all settling in my belly making the odd gaseous appearance .... heaven on earth.  

Sometimes it would get spoiled with the children yapping about something or the usual, "please don't hurt us, if you leave now we'll not even call the police."

Listen bitches! we're a happy family, I'm uncle Knudsen so fuck up and be happy or I'll cut you.

This year made Old Knudsen cry. It wasn't because 'Handles' the Cyberhead stopped working it was because the show was shite. Last year we had The Snowmen which was shite and now this .... I can't take anymore it spoils Christmas and has me waking up naked and covered in blood under a strange Christmas tree ... like you do. 

     The shit has to stop!

The past year has been difficult ... oh I don't mean the flag protests/riots I mean the fact that we had snowmen who were not scary, a boring brooding doctor, a companion who was built up as being someone mysterious but really wasn't.... all she does is run around looking like she is trying not to cry. 
It's just amazing how much better Amy was making the show. Motorcycles that can ride up the side of buildings indeed.  The whole dark Doctor arc with John Hurt was kinda silly considering the Timelord war happened long before his incarnation. How can the other doctors be tormented by something that hadn't happened yet? .... oh the new plot device, you have a time machine,  no need to explain huh. 
It used to be that the Doctor would zap something with  his sonic screwdriver and fix everything.  Now they just do stuff and rely on the stupidity and blind faith of the viewer to accept it.   

It also turns out that Doctors who have previously regenerated can return to existence and just grow old.

30 years Living in a museum seems to age you more than 300 years in a town called Christmas, how very odd. Matt Smith can't act old .... or act, he should have listened to his mammy and stayed with the show.

All the rules of time that has stopped Timelords from doing as they please in other episodes was just thrown out the window this year. 

A wooden Cyberman  ........... wooden work. I mean really, you have a Cyberman whittling away on a block of cedar because obviously a wooden cyberman with a flame thrower is far better than a plastic composite one with a built on .50 cal plastic mini guns, you can get pretty solid plastic ya know and it's low tech ...  I doubt he has a setting for that.

Remember when Daleks and Cybermen were threats and the Doctor would run from them ... why did he do that?

 I can't remember how to fly the Tardis but I can remember one thing .....
I'm the doctor who fucks his companions so get some lube and get naked cos I'm gonna bust yer wormhole!


So are yon Timelords alive? trapped? what? I can't keep up, throwing every Doctor Who enemy into an episode does not necessarily make great TV. They did it a lot better for The Pandorica Opens episode, that one was cool. 
The show has too many in-jokes and easy fixes being used. Get some good writing and some good acting going on and quit with the CGI over using. 

The fangurls will be crying over the loss of a young Doctor and the middle aged male fans will be cheering that an old Doctor has been chosen.      

It may be time to stop watching this show .... unless they go with my companion fucking doctor. 

Thursday, 26 December 2013

Pork Me Up Bitch!

Marks and Spencers, M&S the British pseudo upmarket grocery chain have allowed it's Islamic checkout clerks to refuse to sell alcohol and pork products at their tills.

Only snotty cunts shop there anyway, seriously it isn't anything special but in the UK we have very low standards.
At a time when Muslims are being singled out for being different, M&S treats them differently ... how is that going to go doon?  What about the customers? ya stand there in the line for 10 minutes only to be told you have to queue at another till.... I'll go to another store. 

In the Koran it says not to accept interest, is someone going to really take the piss and say, "sorry I can't accept credit card payments at this checkout." 

This reminds Old Knudsen of the two Catholic nurses who refused to participate with abortions ... and the soldiers who ran to Canada when 9/11 hit so they wouldn't have to fight.

If you can't do a job because of what yer sky fairies say or if yer just not up to it then get another fucking line of work.

What if Northern Ireland had Protestant and Catholic checkouts? ' Sorry mate but you can't buy those fish fingers at this checkout because it's Friday and those Lucky charms and golf balls ..... are you taking the Mick?'


  'Oranges, condoms and glue? fuck away aff to another till.'

Keep yer crazy ass mythology and woo out of yer jobs, it offends me. Tesco have stated that employing people who can't handle certain products doesn't make sense and Sainsburys say that just because people don't eat pork or drink alcohol doesn't mean they can't scan a fucking bottle of beat the wife! .... we aren't asking them to get blootered and have a bacon sarny.
Well ok, I was paraphrasing there a little. 

Wednesday, 25 December 2013

Have A Flegger Christmas

This is me Jamie Bryson wishing you all a Merry Christmas. I know you all wanted to see this and you probably all want to see me elected to a place of power. The platform I'm standing on is as an Anti-Agreement Ulster Protestant.  I don't really have any answers or anything new to add so I'll just say the adults are all wong.

Vote for me in the new year in the 2014 European elections cos a vote for me means  ..................... 

Have a safe Christmas .... if you can, many crimes and acts of random violence happen at this time of year so you had better be careful, but yer house is in a nice area so it is and I pass by that way all the time so I'll keep an eye on you and yer blue Ford Focus and those lovely kiddies so I will.

What is the fucking point of celebrating Christmas? Beys are in prison for crimes they committed but it wasn't their fault, society made them do it. Now the Parades Commission IRA won't let me hold disruptive charity events to send myself and some other "victims" to Libya to confront Gaddafi about funding the IRA .... no, Gaddafi isn't dead, hes a shape shifter who works for Satan .
Libya are having riots and the government are barely holding onto power, they'll give us money for the Lockerbie bombing just to get rid of us. I'd share it with the families of course.
Did you know that everyone in power who won't let the good Protestant community oppress the filthy taig community are IRA scum? .... even the Queen is in the IRA, her and her designated days.

Don't fuck with us or are flag! We are very dangerous because we know who you are .... we're just not saying but we know everything. Willie was able to read the tea leaves and now we know. You might as well just say your names cos we already know them.
Please put us on your blog we need to feel relevant, none of the other Prods like us, do it or we'll take you to court for endangering the lives of terminally ill children an puppies .... we are dangerous, you don't have a clue ..... we are like asbestos .... dangerous.     

I'm the leader I'm the leader, I'm the leader of the gang so I am.

Still not sure what to get that narrow minded person in your life? Why not a years membership to UK LifeLeague or Britain First  .... not the Protestant Coalition as I know a dead horse when I see one. You don't even have to leave the house or the dinner table at the family gathering, just empty your bank account online.
LIKE and SHARE this message if you hate Brussel Sprouts.

To all my Protestant peeps, have a great Christmas and get out for some peaceful protests in the new year.
If the Taigy people would just let us do what we want then there wouldn't be any trouble-ish so it's all your fault that we peacefully riot and have parades to commemorate every single bowel movement that King Billy had.

And remember, Fleggers love to be laughed at, why else would they behave so ridiculously 

 Merry Christmas!

Tuesday, 24 December 2013

Failure To Communicate

The talks with Northern Ireland politicians and US diplomat Richard Haass aren't going anywhere.... Ever get the feeling that we already have peace but these fuckers need to fuck things up? 

I don't think this will spoil anyone's Christmas except for Haass who must be ready to hang himself by now.

Fifty Shades Of Grey Is Next To Godliness

Old Knudsen doesn't go into promoting the works of others very often but this is an exception. The only problem is that you'll have to learn Eyetalian, Spanish, French, Portoguese, Polish or Slovenian to read it as it hasn't been translated into English (the tongue spoken by Jesus) Casate y se Sumisa or in a proper language  Get Married and Be Submissive written by Costanza Miriano is a book of shear genius that every woman should read.
I wonder why only mostly Catholic cuntries have had the book translated ....

A bestseller in Italy it has been translated into Spanish and is becoming hugely popular there. The Archbishop of Granada, Francisco Javier Martinez doesn't mind some extra publicity for the book as he is the one to have had it published in Spain.

Old Knudsen doesn't see eye to eye with all things the Catholic church does like it's support of pedophilia etc but he is shoulder to shoulder with them on this, just like the DUP are with them on abortion.
Many have argued that the book promotes violence against weemen .... poppycock! I doubt many men would read this shite.

Archbishop Martinez said the outrage over the book was "ridiculous and hypocritical" in a society that allows abortion, which he believes to be an example of violence towards weemen which society finds acceptable.

I find that reply to be ridiculous and hypocritical. This is the man who during his Christmas speech in 2011 said that anything Hitler and Stalin did wasn't as bad as having an abortion and that you can rape and abuse a woman who has had an abortion without any limitations as she has committed a sin. 

Since he is still in his job it's good to see where the Catholic Church stands on that.

Miriano who is the mother of four ..... children, claims the book is based on the teachings of St Paul who didn't mind giving an insolent woman the odd back hander.

The book says , "We [women] like humiliation because it is for a greater good."  

I did not think that weemen were capable of such higher reasoning, this gives Old Knudsen hope. 

"When your husband tells you something, you should listen as if it were God speaking"

Just start burning Bibles for we have found a better replacement, I'm sure God spoke to her in order for her to have such wisdom.

Tea, sex, dinner, miscellaneous  .... and all the hoosehold stuff you enjoy like dishes and cleaning, the shopping and looking after the childer, just don't let it interfere with what yer husband wants ... It's easy!

Books are for the weak and even though I'll never read this it'll go doon in my list of favourites.  

Monday, 23 December 2013

Old Knudsen Is Right Again

Do you read that shit? ... No, but my kids do, they knew about you getting fired before you did, lol. 

For years Old Knudsen has been telling you what a failure you lot are compared to his greatness, here is yet another example for those who think he talks out of his arse.

The story in November was how Obama wanted to explode 3 nukes on American soil but 2 US military generals and 1 Navy admiral stopped him ... oh it's just conspiracy shit or a funny coincidence.    The truth from a previous post  
Old Knudsen said they would lose their jobs quietly so I'm guessing they made waves and wouldn't step doon.
The general in charge of the US Air Force's long-range nuclear missiles, Maj Gen Michael Carey was fired for conduct unbecoming of a gentleman.

 He consumed a lot of alcohol on his trip to Russia and associated with foreign women.

Considering what the NSA have been doing it's a no brainer that Obama will be keeping tabs on his high ranking personnel and detailing anything of importance .... or just making shit up that will stick. 

Old Knudsen himself was almost drummed out of the service because of his love for disco music, you may recall Bee Geegate.... all lies.

Help me get this flag pole up so you can dance around it for me.

Need more evidence? ... US Navy Vice-Admiral Tim Giardina was removed as deputy head of US Strategic Command just before Carey was. He was fired for using counterfeit gambling chips at an Iowa casino..... if you can believe that.

The third General? will he see what they are doing to those two and retire quietly? Will his reputation have to be destroyed too? Or will he pass away in his sleep?

You can choose to believe Old Knudsen or not, he didn't spend centuries in military service and in the intelligence field to talk you civvies into things. It's no his fault you don't have the brain capacity and ability to make those leaps and connections.


Sunday, 22 December 2013

Christmas Wet Dreams

What has Santa got in store for you this year? A big fat man magically breaks into yer hoose and leaves presents ..... aye thats likely. More likely he'll steal yer jewelry, yer laptop, shit on the floor and finger yer panties ..... I know I would.

  It's an interesting story, I still don't know how a Greek saint ended up at the North pole looking all Caucasian and all .... like a white Jesus lol! people believe this shit too. 

Did Mr and Mrs Claus ever have children? I wonder if they only cum once a year too? Try to keep yer daughter off the pole ..... the North pole.

Christmas is a time for having to defend yer views against Brussel sprouts and drinking more than usual with people you'd never usually give the time of day to and smiling as you open the most useless presents known to man.

Think of this picture when you watch A Christmas Story .... he'll put yer eye out.  Let the nightmares begin.

Good things can cum in small packages ..... say men with small cocks but they would, wouldn't they?

It's nearly Christmas and Christmas is not sexy! These models are a lie and Santa is a fat socially awkward pedo with a drinking problem who parents force their kids to sit on ... you sick fucks!  Merry Christmas one and all. 

Saturday, 21 December 2013

Would The Real Ian Watkins Please Stand Up

 Ian Watkins thinks that raping babies and young gurls is 'mega lolz. ' Someone thinks it's funny too going by this tat.... what a loser, both of them that is. 

Remember people, when you beat a pedo to death or target them for some online vile bile make sure you have the right one. Bijan Ebrahimi an Iranian born man who lived in Bristol had been taking pictures of vandals who were fucking with his hanging baskets.
Police took him in for questioning and there was a rumour around the housing estate where he lived that he was a pedo taking pics of children.

Well he fitted the bill, not married, had learning disabilities and loved to garden and care for his cat ..... oh and he wasn't quite white, thats the most important thing.

Bijan was beaten and dragged out of his home and set on fire by a two man justice team. He died despite being totally innocent.

Now for the main event of this post. Near Bristol is Wales coincidence? I think not (Hellmouth). The lead singer of  the Welsh band called the Lostprophets has been charged with 13 child sex offenses. He used his fame (apparently he had some in the UK) to get besotted fans to send him video of them torturing their children and getting them to agree to let him rape them such as an 11 month old child and a high school gurl.

The peelers had reports about Watkins since 2008 but because he was a star they didn't do anything except threaten the accusers with charges of harassment ..... oh c'mon Old Knudsen hadn't heard of this cunt until he was named as a pedo, this is the same cunty with a ton of so-called stars from reality shows ..... that isn't a star, a star is James Cagney, Bette Davis, Cary Grant, Harrison Ford, George Clooney, Brad Pitt etc etc ...... someone you don't have to ask, "who is that?"

There is a funny side to Watkins raping babies but not in the mega lolz way that he describes his actions.
Ian Watkins otherwise nicknamed 'H' for hyper is Welsh, hes a ghey pop singer and his picture was used by mistake by an American online news site, E! Online .... for fuck sake! can you not get our minor celebs right?   
I'm gonna say it, all Welsh people look the same, call me racist or Welchist but they do... and they get on as if they are from Hemet .... aye lets do meth then do some kiddies.

 See, you can't tell the difference can you?
FUCK!!!! Pedo Joaquin Phoenix, is up for Lex Luthor role in the next Superman movie, well they did go all Superman is Jesus with the first film so I bet they want someone to get on like Satan for the next film.

The real Ian Watkins can spend his 29 years in lockup worrying about getting a shiv just for being famous. He has shown no empathy, no sympathy or any remorse. Homeland Security and Interpol are also investigating to get a real number of how many victims there are as Watkins traveled a lot. 

29 years of free healthcare, free room and board while welfare benefits on the outside get cut for people who aren't pedos.

Ask yer local MP to push the bringing back of hanging ..... austerity measures we can get behind.  

The man with binoculars or with a camera probably isn't a pedo but in the UK plebs go apeshit over rumours, the one with the white van cruising around schools is a fav for the unwashed mob. If they aren't trying to steal kids then it's dogs.

Old Knudsen suspects that many pedos are in family homes that otherwise look respectable.  Upstanding religious people seem to be main offenders, there has to be a reason why tons of children over here are aggressive fucked up wee shites.


It's the ones with real hate in their hearts that you have to watch out for . Sectarian, racist and homophobic bigots always claim that they are not sectarian or any other form of bigot ..... the real Ian Watkins claims that he is not a pedophile.

Just because you say it doesn't make it true, Old Knudsen judges YOU by yer actions. 


Thursday, 19 December 2013

The Hunger Games, Brought To You By KFC

I have an observation to make, Old Knudsen thinks that Jennifer Lawrence the star of the Hunger game movies has a face that either looks post allergy attack or that she was stung by bees.

Don't get Old Knudsen wrong, if he had a few dozen beers he may very well invite her to the nearest wheelie bin, shes from Kentucky, lets see if she tastes like KFC,  but seriously folks, look at the bake on that.

Old Knudsen was so bored the other night that he finally watched The Hunger Games, lets see what all the fuss is about.
Well done Hunger Games I watched you to the end unlike Twilight which lasted less than 15 minutes.

Didn't mean I liked yon movie. It was a big surprise when her character survived to the end wasn't it?

What a silly idea for a film, go watch The Running Man or Logan's Run they did it far better. Ach it's a movie aimed at teens as they have the power to make their parents spend money. Aye lets market a movie about young people savagely killing each other, we'll have a moral message to balance it out and to get it through of course.

I still remember when Terminator Salvation came out and you'd see loads of Terminator like toys in the toy aisles. Killer cyborgs are for the whole family now, in 1984 The Terminator was rated 18.

Such a slippery slope.

Kids like guns, well done to Kony, yer child soldier ideas were ahead of the times. In a few years child soldiers will be the norm, hey even Lego has gotten violent with superheroes and ninjas. Teach them young.

Just be careful what pictures you put on TV or up on walls as children emulate what they see everyday.

What message are you sending out to the children?

Wednesday, 18 December 2013

The Future Is Now

It's nearly the end of 2013 and everyone is angry about the wrong things as usual.While you cry about people caught in natural disasters or clinging to existence in Syria, Gaza or Larne, ask yerself this, 'did you not want flying cars then?'

Old Knudsen doesn't forget that smug cunts like this yin promised us mobile phones and personal computers and automatic bank cashiers and flying cars! by the year 2000.

Why do you lie so much BBC?   ..... Old Knudsen knows.

Aye show the people this so they won't want to look like a right wab in their flying vehicle parked in the disabled spots at Tesco because only a cunt would buy one of these. 
No space for yer shopping and only one seat but they cost a fortune and are more environmentally friendly than yer Ford Focus so look at me being all elitist and trendy.  Even my farts smell environmentally friendly in my Lexus turbo hybrid bellend.

I want my flying car of the future which is now to be red and shiny that sends the message, I have a small penis, money to waste and a trophy wife, burn in hell you common scum! I also want to be able to sit in my living room and gaze at it in the driveway while I wank ..... is that too much to ask?

I'll tell you why they kept telling us we'd have flying cars, so they could spend as little as possible on infrastructure.
Ever wonder why new roads take so long to build? It's so that you'll fight any plans to build roads cos you don't want to have to put up with months of diggers, noise and dirt thus saving them money, "ach sure we don't need our road widened, I heard a man in Ballymena was driven insane due to lack of sleep as it took 2 years to build a road outside of his house, we're bound to be getting flying cars any day now don't go inconveniencing us for nothing."

It's all a plan I tell ya . I won't say conspiracy as I don't want to sound like a nutjob.


Tuesday, 17 December 2013

Obama Loves Blondes

Recently there has been a lot of talk about how a picture can be misinterpreted if that picture is taken at the right moment.
The angle of the picture can have a famous person checking out some chicks or even falling over. If you see the whole event or the complete series of photos then you'll see there was no checking out (that can be detected) and the falling down celeb was actually the celeb getting up.


The Daily Mail do this National Enquirer shit all the time, Gog forbid you blink or look fed up as a Paparazzo jumps out of the bushes as you walk yer dog while yer dressed in grub clothes trying to think of what you need at the store. 

Katie Holmes always looked annoyed and Tom, well he was bored at halftime and decided to take a look for the mother ship. 

You can't believe a photograph or what the media tell you anymore.

When Obama, the Danish Prime Minister and that fat, baby headed English cunt Cameron took the selfie at Nelson Mandela's going away ceremony, people went nuts, mostly because Michelle Obama looked pissed off .

  Was it because of the attention her husband was giving the hot blonde chick from ABBA?

The photographer insists there are plenty of pics with Michelle smiling ............. somewhere.

 Face Off

Just like Condeelzza Rice, Michelle Obama suffers from Resting bitch face syndrome. Their smiles may light up a room but when their face is in normal mode they could cut glass with an unintentional dirty look. Michelle however does not let cameras stand in the way of how she feels sooooo.

Some definite cold shoulder body blocking going on here... you've been cock blocked lad, you've had yer Waterloo .... look I know ABBA are Swedish but it's close enough. 

Barrack was being a little flirty, maybe Michelle was worried it would go too far and he'd do something inappropriate.

If you wonder what shes doing shes trying to get the fat headed third wheel photo bomber into the picture but with a head that size it's difficult. 

World leaders need to act like world leaders, sure they can have fun ..... when it's appropriate to have fun.
Look solemn and dignified, even if there are Zulu dancers and big 10 foot tall Watusis'.  You can smile but don't get carried away or people will suspect yer a sex addict and a secret drinker.