Thursday, 28 November 2013

Is Galactus Really God?

Many think the cosmic entity Galactus is really the God of the Old Testament.

The Belfast Telegraph loves to do polls, just to see how stupid the population still is. If it wasn't for these polls we wouldn't have found out that it was the middle classes who were not voting rather than the lower classes.
After doing a survey at the DUP annual conference they found out that 40% of DUP activists believe that creationism should be taught in science classes.

As you know, Creationism is the belief that the world is only about 6,000 years old and that it was all created by a superior magical being . All the ancient dinosaur bones are a trick by Satan who just likes to fuck about.
Science has discovered that the earth is 4.5 billion years old but since we can't even imagine how much a billion is then that must be wrong.

Considering that in Genesis, on the third day of creation the magical being who we'll call 'God' grew plants and trees from seed rather than popping out fully grown plants, and there is no reason to think that God sped up the growing process so therefore we have already fucked up what is considered to be a day. The plants bore fruit which means that the third creation day took years and wasn't just a period of 24 hours.

Adam must have been Hispanic as you wouldn't expect a white dude to do so much work.

On the 6th day God created all the animals and then needed some help so he created Adam to work the land.
Adam had his work cut out for him since all the plants had grown to maturity and no one had cut the grass at all.
God who seems like a bit of a cunt, then told him to give all the animals names, "but master I ain't had no education and you want me to do all this in a day?"

Naming an animal every 10 seconds for days. A lion .... I'll call you furryheads a Giraffe .... like duh, Longnecks of course . Thank fuck he only had to name the animals of ground and air.

God must have been worried about his labour costs and so to keep his labour figure doon he worked poor Adam like a hoor.

Give a magical being a chance, you try creating life in the first go. 

He obviously made chicks with dicks too and we give praise for that.

Aye it's been a long day for Adam so God put him to sleep and experimented on him creating Eve. I suspect that Eve wasn't the first creation as other texts mention Lilith who wasn't such a door mat and went off for some demon cock. How many others were made?

After Adam saw Eve he said "at last" which also points to a day being longer than 24 hours. He also said, "Damn my balls are blue, I've had to shag woolies since the furryheads nearly killed me" God said you'd just lie there and take it, not like Lilith who wanted to do weird stuff like being on top.      

Don't get me started on the whole 'it's all weemen's fault' crap, who wouldn't believe a talking snake? If God made a talking snake then obviously he wants us to listen to him.... lies didn't exist back then.

Ach if weemen weren't so gullible Old Knudsen wouldn't have been able to bed over 84,000 (that he can remember) of them.
We still continue to blame weemen as nothing can possibly be men's fault. Got raped by a football team? has to be her fault as we have the play offs next month.

Lilith wouldn't have got us thrown out.

God later on mentions how he kept his covenant for 1,000 generations to love those who loved and obeyed him.
Right there that suggests 40,000 years in real money.

You can blame poor translation of words or that it was never intended to be a historical record as there is no proof of the hearsay mentioned in the Bible so how the fuck can you teach creationism in schools? How the fuck can you justify teaching religion in school full stop? unless it's for mythology rather than being presented as fact.

Religion doesn't teach you to be a better person going by all the Christians molesting children and generally being self-righteous pricks.

Being Christian seems to turn some men into weeman hating homophobes. 

Back to the polls, so 50% of DUP members at the conference surveyed believed creationism should not! be taught in science class. 10% didn't know and 40% thought it should be there as well as, or instead of, mainstream science.

I'm worried about the 10% going to a political meeting and not having an opinion, how could you not have an opinion?

Edwin Poots also had  66% support for his lifetime ban on sexually active ghey men giving blood, only 28% were against it while 6%  hadn't been told what to think yet.

If there was a ban on gheys giving blood in Northern Ireland we would just get blood from England if there was a shortage. England is not as backwards as Northern Ireland and allow gheys to donate blood so this ban that Poots wants is stupid and doesn't help anyone. It targets and discriminates against turd burglars thats the only thing it does.


The UK has a state religion that is the Church of England, religion is compulsory in every school though there isn't a grade given for it. While religion gets taught to all the pupils science does not.

Only just over half the population claim to be Christian with 63% of those people not having been to a place of worship in the past year.

If you are in government you should leave yer religion at home. No swearing on the Bible or holding a prayer session and definitely no making decisions based on what Galactus, God or the Hulk would do or what you would think they would do. 

There would be a shit load of trouble if a Muslim politician tried to ban us from eating bacon wouldn't there? So why do we allow politicians to equate being Christian to being a good and moral person? 

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