Wednesday, 27 November 2013

Burn The Witches Of Ireland

Around Halloween I read about a so-called paranormal expert from Northern Ireland named David Fredriks aged 52.
Fredriks claims to be able to communicate with the dead and also foresee events which is why hes always on the Crimestoppers anonymous tip line telling the police about crimes before they happen .... not!

  Stop being such a selfish cunt and become a crime fighter if yer so good. 

Due to being so super-natural hes in big demand when a house or a business needs rid of some unwanted spooks, in fact demand for this is good enough that he gave up his job as a joiner(carpenter) seven years ago to concentrate full time on exorcisms or "clearings" as he calls them. 

He claims to have had prophetic dreams since the age of 4 but a serious car accident in his 20's gave him the ability to see and talk to spirits.  30 years on and you make it to my blog, I think you need more name recognition. 

"They would just come up to me. Many of them came because they didn't want to be stuck here and I was able to help them get back to where they should be."  

Maybe he does see them, especially on pension day blocking the shop aisles as they buy their cat food. 

  Tiffany Bleason aged 24 is a former Miss Northern Ireland contestant.

People in Northern Ireland seem to age faster than normal, the drinking, smoking and the unhealthy habit of constant masturbation to reality shows catches up to them in their 30's and before they know it they are old at 50 and get called an old age pensioner by mistake when the police beat them up at flag protests .

Back to the spooks!
Fredriks claims that witches are being paid to cast spells that conjure up bad spirits to destroy their business rivals.... I thought they were called Fleggers.

"There are over 44,000 practising witches in Ireland alone and a lot of them are in it for the money." 

Oh wise the fuck up, like theres money in witchcraft, no more Game of Thrones for you me lad! They have websites cos they want to sell you stuff with crystals on it.

"Some of them have websites and it is now well known that they are being used by some companies to bring up a spirit with their black magic and put it in a rival firm where it goes on to create havoc."

 My name is Raven Morgana and I'm a very powerful witch into black magic an shit.

Witches with websites, what do ya know, next there will be Christians and oh Jews online. Black magic, seriously Dave?

Hes claimed to have seen books that fly off shelves, children spinning around in their rooms at 4am if for some reason the time is important. Children can get harmed in these places and people wake up to find their clothes have been undone.

Oh no, it's not child abuse or attempted rape ...... it's a witch!!!!!

David doesn't have a website, way too evil for him no doubt, he gets business by word of mouth. Not very professional if you ask me as times are tough.
He is used to sceptics who will scoff at what he does (like Old Knudsen) which is why he is guarded about where he lives and will only say his home is in the north west of the province.... which smells like DerryLondonDerry or rape city as it's called, backwards as fuck, no wonder he sees witches instead of child molesters.

No advertising, doesn't like people to know where he is from ..... running a business while claiming benefits huh? In theory he should be able to know when the fraud squad will be round.

David sends these evil spirits and lost souls to the light and it only usually takes a few minutes to get rid of something that only he can see and hear, ya have to have video of spinning children I mean for fucks sake, get that shit on YouTube.

If you wish to book David and find out what kind of price he charges the gullible you can reach him at  




Anonymous said...

It kind of feels wrong to laugh at your wit, especially the comment about its not paedophillia it's actually a witch! Keep up the good work!

Old Knudsen said...

What can I say? stupid gets Old Knudsen worked up, it's natural to feel durty after visiting my blog.