Thursday, 3 October 2013

Great Wall? ... I've Seen Better

Lay the fuck off my man JB! There were medical reasons why Justin Bieber had his bodyguards carry him up the Great wall of China.

Fact file:  The great wall of China was built in 1841 by Benjamin Great who was an English architect that really hated disabled people after he was bitten by one as a child, it was hoped that the wall would keep the mongs from Mongolia out of China. It would have worked too except building codes meant that he had to build a ramp for wheelchair users, mongs do not have wheelchairs but were able to scale the ramp and over power the guards by standing inappropriately and unnervingly close to them.  

Fact File: In 1986 Andrew Ridgeley from the pop sensation Wham fell off the wall and was killed outright. At that moment George Michael vowed to have a successful solo career.   

Fact File: After being carried up the great wall of China, superstar Justin Bieber said the wall was very nice causing international outrage. The Prime Minister of Canada Stephen Harper was forced to go onto television and state that the wall maybe nice but that it is also great. China stood down it's nukes. 

 Fuck you Darwin, and yer theory of evolution.  

Do you know how hard it is to walk, never mind climb steps with yer troosers pulled doon round yer legs?

Also do you know how difficult it is to climb hundreds of steps when yer off yer head on the drugs? It isn't easy being the Biebernator, he may make it look easy but it's not.  

Hes not just some chav ya know.

Yer gurl with the book in the attic Anne Frank, she'd go moist if she knew the Biebster was in her secret hole, and when the Biebmeister spat on those gurl fans well that will probably be the crowning moment of their shitty little lives.

Before you condemn the great JB just try walking a mile in his shoes or maybe you could get yer bobyguards to carry you for that mile.

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