Friday, 6 September 2013

Stench Trench Meets Cave Hill

A naked woman was seen at Cave Hill (a Belfast hill that has caves) posing naked for pictures.

A witness said that he had been sitting down for a rest at around 2.30pm when he noticed what was going on. "I was sitting drinking my juice and eating my Mars bar when what caught my eye was this girl with long blonde hair and a big hairy muff." 

 On Cave Hill with Belfast lough below.
"She was posing on a rock and all sorts of poses, glamour sort of stuff. I couldn't see any detail from where I was and I really did try, it was obvious it wasn't anything tasteful."

Some walkers heading up to the caves saw the naked woman and revolted at the thought young firm bare flesh turned round and walked away. 
But this is acceptable...

This is Northern fucking Ireland, we'll not have any of that sinful shite round here. Sure children wearing belly tops and 50 year-old weemen dressing like they are 20 is fine but no nudity .... cos the Bible says, well I'm not exactly sure what the Bible says but if Old Knudsen likes it then the Bible is probably against it. 
 I think I just saw her giblets.
Top DUP Orangeman, code breaker and bare knuckle champion Nelson McCauseland is on the case. 

Ok kids, enough X-man training for today lets all hit the showers.

McCausland has called for Belfast City Council to investigate.... The police were of no help as usual, 'oh naked woman you say, nope not had any calls can't help you.' 

Yes lets waste council time so they don't see all the dodgy deals yer doing with the Orange Order and the housing executive.
This kind of thing must be stopped immediately, next you have naked women running around with dragons burning down our great cities and releases the taigs .... er slaves. WINTER IS COMING!

 We stopped Rhianna's breasts, we aren't afraid of some ucky gurly front bottom parts .

McCauseland who like every good Protestant male has never seen a naked woman and until God says it's ok to do so he will continue to ensure his wife is clothed at all times .... thank fuck for crotchless gunties.

Worried that this may turn into a pandemic farmers have reportedly found naked weemen on their farms but have been too ashamed to tell for any real amounts to be known. Just chop them up and no one will ever know.

The DUP have issued a statement for weemen to know their place and do as they are told and have suggested that the Cave Hill hoor was probably a Catholic lady. 

They have also issued an appeal to the public, keep your eyes peeled for naked weemen, take plenty of photos for the newspapers and report it to the police.  Old Knudsen is doing a sweep of Belfast homes looking through windows for these filthy harlots. 


No comments: