Wednesday, 11 September 2013

I've Got A Demon In My Penis

 The exorcist gurls and their hoormaster Giles.

As Old Knudsen has said many a time, Arizona is on a Helmouth. How else can you explain the zonies who live there? Yes the same as Texas and Florida too, Satan's chosen counties. Three little gurls (who are not Charlie's Angels) travel around the world exorcising demons, mostly in backwards superstitious places like Africa, Arizona, Russia, Ukraine and Northern Ireland. 

L-R Tess Scherkenback (18) Brynne Larson (18) and Savannah Scherkenback (21)

The girls all met at karate class when they were younger and during a sleepover  Brynne Larson decided one of the other girls was possessed and convinced the two sisters to help her exorcise their friend.
There is always at least one lesbian at a sleepover, this one was the daughter of  reverend Bob Larson who claims to have carried out 30,000in his 30 years of avoiding real work. The dildo shaped like a cross should have been a give away.
In Old Knudsen's day an exorcism at a sleepover was called a hazing ..... not that he went to sleepovers of course.

 Buffy the vampire slayer has finished, please move on people.

According to the gurls you can get sexually transmitted demons, if you fuck a hooker over a wheelie bin behind the Golden Garden Chinese restaurant you can get her demons .

Priests are always very obliging if you want protection, they'll best yer cock and rub some holy oil on it as long as it remains yer little secret.

The gurls say there are different demons all around the world. for instance the ones in Britain will say "ave your tea" instead of "have your dinner" or "troosers" instead of "pants" yes Demons can be very tricky, especially when you don't get their sarcasm.

You smell like pee and stale cum old woman, tell us where yer money is or we'll exorcise you into a care home .... hit her with a god smite Brynne! 
The girls are quite concerned about the Harry Potter books which has made the UK a hub for evil and witchcraft. "The spells and things that you're reading in the Harry Potter books, those aren't just something that are made up, those are actual spells. Those are things that came from witchcraft books." says Tess with a toss of her bouncy hair while still maintaining her vacant smile.

In the Midlands in 2012 a 13 year-old girl blinded her parents when she shouted  "Conjunctivitis" at them. 
In March 2013 a teenage boy's penis grew then exploded when he recited the chant "Engorgio."

Old Knudsen used "Avada Kedavra" to kill Hugo Chavez and "Obliviate" to make you forget that I just told you that. 

 We are like warriors kinda like Zena, battling against the forces of evil and we like to kick butt.

Helping weemen who had been sexually abused as well as alcoholics and drug addicts, it's a very valuable service. Luckily many are believers and know all the moves on how to react when exorcised ... look it up on YouTube if you need to learn.  

Bob Larson Brynne's father asks for a donation for exorcisms or else he'd have to get a real job. 

"People will pay thousands of dollars to go to drug rehab or to pay psychiatrists but there's this idea that spirituality needs to be for free."

Yeah what the fuck is that about? Jesus never gave fuck all for free, "just make me a fucking leper again I can't afford yer bill and sending Peter round to break my fingers won't get you yer money, any chance of fixing my fingers while I'm here?" 

If Old Knudsen had these gurls giving him an exorcism he'd expect a happy ending before he parted with any money.  

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