Hello Tesco? no milk today I'm all dried up!
Then I heard over the loud speaker: Our milk comes fresh each day from our Tesco farmers .... for fucks sake! have I been putting farmer milk into me tae? Ach if I buy milk I don't want it from some durty ol ruddy cheeked pervert in wellies who gets off thinking about tractor incest, I want it from moo cows.
Oh and if I were you I'd stay away from the meat counter too.