Wednesday, 21 August 2013

Deadly Stalkers

Remember a few back when the UK was all anti-Brussels? We don't like to be told what flavour of crisps to have or criticizing the curve in our bananas. Everyone stopped having anything to do with Brussels and that included eating Brussel sprouts.

Even making them um sexy didn't help, we had a surplus of  sprouts. The sprout mountain we called it. We shipped some off to Africa and they said, "we're starving an all but we ain't eating that shit."

Brussel sprouts have had a long association with evil. Satan himself is quite partial to Action man/GI Joe cabbages.
Levitigas:23 - 29 "When God created Brussel sprouts he said 'oops' and cursed them for all eternity for they did'th make him fart."

It was no surprise what happened next ... well actually is was quite surprising, unless you were expecting it.

The Brussel sprouts mutated into giant walking, man eating plants with a whip like stinger full of toxins.
They shuffle about stinging people, paralyzing them and eating them. The plants evolved to be more intelligent than most humans .... which didn't take that long and were soon invading our homes and setting traps for us. 'oh look, someone dropped a tenner'  .... ::: slap::: 'I can't move, oh look a yucca walking towards me.'

 AAAHHH!!!!! deadly house plants that smell like cabbage.

We lost a lot of good people in those days, I'm sure anyone reading this has lost someone to a flesh eating plant too .... get the fuck over it, shit happens.
London was in chaos, as was most of the cuntry.
I was way too busy looting, raping and killing .... ach don't judge, without the fear of prison me animal side must be unleashed or me balls turn blue. 

So  Monsanto UK took the lead in destroying these brussel sprout beasts. Using a special
Neonicotinoid pesticide they were able to destroy the plants and then worked on captured plants to make sure this does not happen again, they are also genetically modifying them to be able to use plant oil for fuel and to introduce them into the food system for pet food. 

 They were of course renamed as British sprouters . What could possibly go wrong? Of course most of the bees are dead but who needs those anyway? buzzing stinging creatures. 

The moral of this story is to eat meat, destroy vegetables and don't trust a vegetarian. 

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