Monday, 1 July 2013

Wind Turbines Ate My Hamster

You know what pisses Old Knudsen off? .... you fuck face! Oh and people who are against wind turbines.... just look at that spoiling the view.
You remind me of people who don't want the death penalty for pedos. "Well I have an undercooked opinion but just give a pedo a time out and they'll behave and I ask you, what is wrong with oil and gas as a source of fuel? Fracking is the future and no one can tell me otherwise." 

Arguments against wind turbines have been, they are ugly and spoil the view, they kill birds and bats and somehow cause cancer and other illnesses because they give off tachyon bursts or some other made up shite. 
Oh and not cost effective because you have to do maintaince on them and you never get something for nothing, the god of the winds will want a sacrifice... Not great arguments. 
I'd rather see wind turbines that rapper weemen. Not in my backyard.

Sure there was the story last week about the appearance of a rare bird on a Scottish island . The birdwatchers were standing there stroking their chubbies while this African swift flew about looking for coconuts and then flew smack into a turbine. 

Thats worth a chuckle, birds are fucking dumb and if this bird got blew off course and ended up in Scotland then the chances are the stupid fucker is gonna play chicken with a giant bird blender.

While wind turbines do kill birds yer cats kill 10 times more of them... wind turbines don't shit in yer garden cos hey next doors cat I cleared that wee bit of ground and put seeds down just so you could dig it up and shit in it... yer fucking welcome. 

Stupid fucking cats and their stoopid owners, yet if I go into their garden and shit on their pansies all hell breaks loose and not just from Old Knudsen's dripping arse. Over 1,000 birds a year run into the Washington Monument, why is no one calling for that to be ripped doon?

Old Knudsen remembers when windmills first appeared. People would say, "You can't build them here, they'll spoil the view and we won't be able to see the bloody Romans attacking." It's always something dumb. What about the claim that they killed angels?

It is true that God's war against the cities of Sodem and Gonorrhea was because an angel flew into the rotating blades of a windmill, 'We've got an angel down, I repeat an angel is down!' The angel had severe butt hurt and wasn't flying very straight .... there was nothing very straight about THAT angel.   
Yon windmill spoiled the crop, soured the milk and gave my pig anal warts .... well thats what happens when you no longer burn witches, you have to blame stuff on whatever is available. 

What about the bees? I'm sure wind turbines is causing their decline unlike shall we say pesticides and a lack of wild flowers ... aye it's a real mystery. 

When Old Knudsen sees a wind turbine he sees hope for the future that is not destroying the environment and if you don't place these turbines in bird flight corridors then that reduces deaths by half. 

You have people living under electric pylons and cables stretching across the country and no one gives a fuck but as soon as the wealthy landed gentry have to see the inner workings of progress it's oh no, the blades going round and round can make you insane you know.   

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