Wednesday, 31 July 2013

The Time Of The Walker

 "Na surrender M8"

As everyone knows a zombie apocalypse is just around the corner, believe Old Knudsen cos he saw the last few. The 1918 so-called flu pandemic being the last one to hit the headlines in the west, other minor ones in Africa and the recent Arab spring events have been dealt with for the most.

Whenever Old Knudsen hears about a bus or rail crash his first thought is, I wonder if it's an assassination on one person made to look like an accident and his second thought usually is could be containment or stock control of Operation dead eye his third thought is usually about midget porn or something.     

We all know about Prince Philip being a zombie since his death in 2011 RIP Prince Philip and we know that the US government with their CIA serum Prince Philip Still Dead have been keeping the rich and the famous alive for years. Kirk Douglas Dead

I also told you how big companies like Heinz manipulate you and start rumours of the end of the world to get cans of beans sold Con-sume

As Old Knudsen was counting his cans of beans this morning, the count was off BTW so we have a traitor amongst us ... no wait I had some last nite when I staggered home blootered.

I looked towards Obama's zombie breeding camp known as Florida.

Remember folks, it's passed via body fluids so if you catch a zombie for fucking, wear a condom.

I was doing my usual search on Google Earth and found Miracle Village. A little enclave in Florida that is home to a community of sex offenders and their families.

Set up by a Christian organization because as we know Christians are pedos,which explains the whole anti-abortion stance, they want sexy little children to be born into vulnerable families or put into the foster system so they can diddle them.

While it is pretty satisfying smashing in the head of a zombie .... or someone you might think will turn into one (you can't be too careful) wouldn't it be great to bash in the head of a zombie sex offender?
If in doubt of a person infected by the zombie virus: 

Slurred words, not making sense when they speak a glazed look on their face .... not able to understand simple concepts like loyalty to the Queen, very angry. They might be turning into walkers, get them before they fully turn. Zombie Fleggers

Get yer target practice in while you can. The US has disarmed most of Europe as that was their zombie serum testing ground before they started in Florida, Texas and Arizona... blowing faces off, good family fun, well done Jack yer the father of the year.  

Wait a minute, doesn't that target look like someone? Oh yeah, President of the US Morgan Freeman. Only in Florida would they build a village for sex offenders, next there will be a zombie village. Out in the open zombies flaunting themselves in public and destroying the sanctity of marriage etc etc.

Should walkers be allowed to marry?  The Bible says a man and a woman, it didn't say they had to be alive though.
Check out yer History channel, zombies have been about for centuries, Jesus made a few himself like Lazarus before he himself was infected by a dirty needle.
Did the CIA find the holy grail that contained the secret to eternal life .... as a rotting corpse but still alive huh? 
Oh fuck! a zombie with a social conscience. I call these mongs who just jump on a cause  Trendy Activists, aye ignore all the other bad shit because it isn't good looking enough, not the right colour or hasn't had enough TV coverage. 

Stay frosty my friends, zombies are among us. 

Tuesday, 30 July 2013

It Is A Big Issue

Jim Dowson is never one to miss a money making opportunity. Look would I saw in Belfast selling old copies of The big issue he found in the dumpster behind the City hospital.

£3.00? I thought they only cost £2.50, ah well hes the expert.  

Just A Lad

So some poof with his jizzed up ginger hair thought it would be funny to squirt people with a water gun.
Philip Deazley a 21 year-old ..... boy was at the seaside town of Portstewart with his friends squirting people through their car windows and laughing, "oh I'm so funny, yer stuck in traffic and I wet you and yer kids, I like making children wet cos I'm a balding ginger cum bucket" ... to paraphrase what he might have said.

It wasn't until he squirted a police land rover was he arrested. Now Phil who says it was "just a bit of harmless fun" will go through the courts rather than pay a fine, "I'll go to court if it comes to that."

The police have faced criticism over this but thats whats wrong with Northern Ireland and plenty of other places around the world, boys will be boys ... um no, hes supposed to be an adult. Harmless fun? squirting strangers in their cars might be fun to you but not so much to them, you only play with people who are playing with you.

If this harmless fun gets laughed away as just a prank or he was just being a lad then that continues to pave the way for other unacceptable behaviour such as RAPE maybe those people with their windows rolled doon were asking for it.

When Old Knudsen was 21 he wasn't running around with a water gun, he was saving the world while working 4 jobs, grow the fuck up ya ultra violet carrot top little cunt with yer totally ghey polo shirt with it's collar turned up in the true douche bag style mode.

Old Knudsen says bring back hanging for Philip Deazley. 

Monday, 29 July 2013

Flying Loyalist Turns Out To Be Performance Artist

The Flying Flegger!

Crocodile Tears And Fake Tits


Nothing good comes from Leeds like poor Josie Cunningham a 23 year-old single mother of two didn't have any tits.
So she told her doctor that not having tits made her depressed. When Old Knudsen doesn't have tits in his life he too gets depressed.

Before you know it she got a £4,800 operation on the NHS. 36DD implants just to achieve the appearance of a 36C.
Who could have guessed that Josie wanted to be a model?  This op didn't go doon too well with the public and Josie thanking the tax payers and the NHS didn't help much either.

She did of course get em out and well ..... where do I start?

They aren't very good and you aren't good enough looking to be a model, bad skin, dodgy tats and no offense but yer orange and a bit of a minger .... I'm sure yer a great mum though.

Well Josie isn't happy with them either and wants a smaller size and intends to sue the NHS for making her sullen and distraughty. Probably why she ordered yon chihuahua puppy, to make yer happy.

   No, leopard print and a onesie do not make you look like a cheap chav, nor does that wall paper.

Josie who is saving up for a nose job will take the NHS up on their offer of botox injections to cure her excessive sweating.
Maybe if you didn't slap that terrible looking fake tan shit on an inch thick yer skin would be able to breathe.

Josie's role model is Katie Price who is a model, author and gurlfriend to famous blokes etc. The haters have been calling Josie, Katie Cut-Price so cruel.

Even if Josie looked perfect she'd still be a minger as there is nothing attractive about her inside or out. Shes working the system and laughing about it.   

If only they had worked on her mental issues rather than a quick expensive fix.

Sunday, 28 July 2013

Touched By An Angel

Back on track as my faith in Christians is at an all time low. Why do Christians hate everyone and molest children?  Just like yon Muslims too, 72 virgins indeed.

Hot chicks are far better than children, trust me on this.

Is this lass a mermaid? well I don't see a fishtail but I smell fish.

So glad this babe got dressed up, she must be going to church to tempt all those pedos away from the kiddies.

According to some religious types 'God is great' .... well tits are better.

Saturday, 27 July 2013

Willie Frazer Eats, Talks And Smells Like Shit

Old Knudsen likes nothing more than seeing Nazi bigots get what they deserve so when  Loyalists Against Democracy set a trap for The Protestant Coalition Old Knudsen was over the sun about it (it was daytime) They added a little extra to his plate.
Remember The Protestant Coalition if you are going to take pictures you think are funny and not give any credit to the source you should make sure yer number two leader isn't eating a number two.

The Weekly Rejection

Will you go out with me? ..... No! 
Will you go out with me? ..... No! 
Will you go out with me? ..... No!  
Will you go out with me? ..... No! 

I'll keep coming around until you say yes. Will you go out with me? ..... No! 

Will you go out with me? ..... No! 
Will you go out with me? ..... No! 
Will you go out with me? ..... No! 
You sad fucker just leave me alone, go get a life instead of coming round here causing trouble. 

Will you go out with me? ..... fuck off!


The Polio Vaccine Made Me Psychic

Yesterday Old Knudsen was told from a Facebook friend (who unfriended him) that Wiccans all worship Satan and push the abortion issue to kill all the children in the name of said Christian invented devil of the underworld.... Hell.  Not to be confused with the underworld Goddess Hel. 

Old Knudsen being an expert in the old ways hit the Internet to find out if these claims were true or just insane rantings from a Christian anti-choice nutter who knows nothing about Paganism or witchcraft.

He found the question being asked: Why are Wiccans so fat and ugly? hardly anything to do with killing fetus' but bear with me. Pastor Sampson had his unique take on this.

Moonbeam Starglow and Raven Sunstroke want to tell you about the Goddess ... then have a threesome to heal the earth with sex magick ... sounds good to me. 

Wiccans in their youth as they join their various covens looking for balance in nature and easy sex from like minded individuals. Mostly left wing type people who unlike Christians don't support war or the fondling of children and go into these religions. You'll find many ex fondled kids and rape survivors who wonder why God lets bad shit happen in these groups. You getting raped by the pastor was all God's plan so be comforted.

Lets keep the poser Satanists to the side, they only want to be individual and to shock people by wearing black and getting their nipples pierced ... no power to be had there.

Here is the pretty young Wiccan on the left with the unicorn t-shirt years later. Obviously evil or the constantly telling people you don't wear a pointy hat wears you doon.

The one on the right can no longer wear belly tops either. About that threesome, we can still have it ... just the two of us.

Here Jorge Thunderhorse ... a powerful Warlock uses his tree-fu to get the lotto numbers

After winning the lotto he set about birthing an army of evil minions (like Wiccans do) yer eating for 50 now, doon yer neck.

Old Knudsen's Facebook friend was not interested in learning the truth about the old ways turned new as her mind was made up and unfriended me for pointing out her lack of Christian tolerance for other religions.  It's ok to be a sectarian bigot if yer Christian.

The reason why witchcraft is seen as evil is people like her who demonized other belief systems, and the stealing their ways (Easter, Christmas etc) and places of worship so that Christianity would flourish. 

A battle of imaginary friends indeed but witchcraft has nothing to do with the Devil, it has to do with nature and knowledge, not my fault you fear what you don't understand. If people call themselves a witch and say "all hail Satan" just smile and avoid them .

 Poor Trayvon Christ, all he wanted to do is smoke weed and beat up on crackers.

You have more reason to fear the deluded followers of Christ who don't base their religion on his teachings of peace and love but rather concentrate on the torture bit at the end and what other people should be doing, or not doing.  

Pastor Sampson came to the conclusion that Wiccans are fat and ugly because:  Wicca makes these people fat and unattractive. We have found that it's the hole that Jesus leaves in the soul that the practitioner of evil arts is trying to fill with peanut butter, ice cream and Christian babies.

Ha! Christian babies .... Old Knudsen was wrong? ... how do you know the baby is Christian? In Old Knudsen's opinion they all taste like pork.

Christians are so darned attractive, here Becky Fischer gets busy brainwashing children at her Jesus camp. If you pray hard enough you'll have a good life. Your father diddled you? well you obviously didn't believe in Jesus enough.

I've noticed this a lot.

I liked the story where at a fair in the US an anti-choice tent handed out soft squishy baby fetus' to the children. What the fuck is going on in their more than empty heads? Ya know what Pagans, Witches and Wiccans don't do? .... yep traumatize children with dead baby toys.   

Old Knudsen is made sullen when exposed to uninformed idiocy of this level from grown ups and so will start exposing the real truths such as the robots in disguise Obama has posing as people ... very crafty.
We got wise to Interweb memes (after 15 or so years) and so to find out if we are boxers or briefs the government has to be more clever.


Friday, 26 July 2013

The Protestant Coalition Wants You!

Willie Frazer from the The Protestant Coalition has some new leaflets you might be interested in if you support the Protestant culture .... or are ya a cock sucking Fenian? 

Just to remind everyone that the The Protestant Coalition has nothing to do with the neo-Nazi Jim Dowson group Britain First, it just shares all it's links, info and looks the same.

Nor does the The Protestant Coalition have anything to do with the anti-choice groups Dowson also runs, but remember, every sperm is sacred so don't spit it out.

I shall return to the land of wondering where the income for all these assholes comes from, yes making the odd several thousand disappear is all and good but it doesn't last that long.

Panhandling bastards! I thought I saw Golding selling the Big Issue in the street behind Boots. If you see these men collecting money, do not fall for their Nazi like charm, guilt trips or fear mongering, not one penny will reach the blind orphans so save yer 20p for real charity collectors.

Thursday, 25 July 2013

The Bees Have Been Found

 Watch out for me massive stinger.

The decline in the bee population can now be explained. Like most of Gog's creatures they are attracted to Old Knudsen's cock.

No wonder they are dying.

Lesson time - Learn by Old Knudsen's experience and never say something stupid like, "haven't seen many flies or wasps around this year."  Aye it was me that scudded you.

Wednesday, 24 July 2013

Why Does Cameron Want Rid Of Porn?

David Cameron keeps trying to get rid of porn as he doesn't want children accessing these filthy sites. Cameron's own children are already addicted to it and so he knows the dangers.

He also has a past to keep secret from his kids which is very important. Just cum clean Dave, you can run from yer past but it's gonna catch you and fuck you roughly from behind and then at the last moment cum over yer fat baby headed face.

It's ok lad, I can take these sites, so can the kids who help me get onto them for free.

Monday, 22 July 2013

Before The Storm

It does get a little boring meeting new people online, firstly .... you've never fucking heard of me, where the fuck have you been noob ?

Then you have to tell them what their problem is but not get too into their issues or you'll be there all day.
Example: Yer a dickhead who talks out of yer arse if yer breath is anything to go by ... smelling someone's breath online is artistic license or taking the piss, whatever.

See? that covers what their problem is.

The last thing you want to get into are their mammy issues and how they were her special wee man and because hes a spoiled wee man child the only place he can act big is online. I'm no touching the territorial alpha dog shit you have going on.

Like I said I could be there all day.

Repetitive issues, we aren't so unique you just have to figure the various combinations.

Then you end up arguing because they didn't 'get' or just didn't read what you said ..... for fucks sake!

Before Old Knudsen is forced to kill again hes just going to sit in what sun there is left. Skin cancer is less painful than some of the stupid hes encountered recently.


Sunday, 21 July 2013

The Hugo Boss Concert


The Springsteen concert last night was ok ... I was a little sullen when at the end of the 18 hour gig he still hadn't played his greatest hits like 'Run to you' and 'the Summer I got 69' but still the hologram of the saxy phone player was cool.

I'll be singing Jessie's gurl for a week now. 

Sexy Or Not

So it's Sunday, the day when I tempt Christian pedos with hot adults to lure them away from the children ..... fuck the children!

I'm starting early to make sure everyone knows what a fucktard Texas Governor Rick Perry is just in case he takes the head staggers and goes for president in 2016.

Texas, otherwise known as yon big shit hole near Mexico loves this dude with his fake Texas twang and cultivated tough guy image.

Newsflash pal, you were Airforce. Old Knudsen's shit is tougher than anything airforce!

Hey gurl, I can be tender too.

Perry is a gold member of the NRA, being bigoted and loving guns get you votes in Texas, they are a simple people who for some strange reason think they are better than everyone else even though they have to borrow millions to keep the state in some form of working order.

A Christian he is one of really stupid variety. He believes the Bible has no errors and is 100% true. Nope, don't want to hear it, blah blah blah not listening it's true so there.

A believer of Intelligent design he thinks that those who believe in evolution to be dumber than a box of grits.
He is anti-choice and has made abortion in Texas illegal .... except if the mother's life was in danger, but rape and incest, you have to have the baby .

Perry is well into closing down Planned Parenthood clinics, because hes a cunt I suppose...

While Perry believes that life is sacred and abortion is wrong he has had over 230 prisoners executed and even passed a bill saying he can execute the mentally ill cos he hates tards.

Affordable healthcare? .... only for socialist faggots. If you can't buy it then you can't have it bitch, in fact if I don't like what you want you still can't have it.

He did want all Texan gurls to get the  HPV vaccine which protects against cunt warts and cancer because he cares .... or was it that he was financially linked to the company that manufactured it? 

Rick Perry on Gheys .. Marriage is between a man and a woman, being ghey is like being an alcoholic, just quit doing it. A former Eagle scout he was against the Boy scouts accepting gheys into their ranks, he was quite happy with don't ask don't tell.
The scouts now are allowing ghey members as long as you don't do anything because you'd be under age and by the time you reach the age of consent it's time to leave the scouts .... nicely played ya haters.
The more I meet religious people the more idiots there are in my life .... coincidence?

The only thing I can think of for Perry closing Planned Parenthood clinics and preventing abortion is that he likes poor people as he doesn't want them to have access to contraception and wants there to be more of them.

James Holmes used to be a baby. Perry would have him killed as an adult but not as a baby. Hypocrite anyone?
As usual with anti-choice people I don't see Perry adopting any unwanted babies. Out of sight out of mind, not his problem, he did his job butting in and ruining lives .

He has to be an alien. Growing humans to harvest them for the alien overlords to eat. I almost believed the Christian act but you were really way too stupid.

This is the face of stupidity wrapped up in a shell of dangerous. Watch out 2016, we need Hilary, not Prick Perry.