Friday, 14 June 2013

One Fish Two Fish Red Fish Blue Fish Gurkha!

Due to the G8, security in Belfast is being upgraded to allow for protesters who can't be arsed going out to the sticks of Fermanagh where the G8 is actually being held.

No one wants to go to Fermanagh at the best of times so it made it an ideal choice to hold the G8. 

G8 Protests, Flag protests and Maze shrine protests, maybe with some fighting and bomb scares, the traditional tense feel for Belfast but 21st century style.

There won't be any protests about health or education cuts or the destruction of our environment because the people of Northern Ireland are cunts and all that shite doesn't involve flags, bonfires and culture .... drinking in other words.

Monday when the G8 leaders start to arrive and go to see the sites of Belfast there will be a stand still of traffic around the city.
The crack British regiment The Royal Immigrants ... otherwise known as the Gurkhas will be popping up where you least expect them to counter the threat of dissidents and mouthy law students etc.

Try not to be alarmed and don't make any sudden movements, their English may not be very good but hey, you probably think you speak English too so don't judge. They do understand crying and wetting yerself though.

Do not be surprised if you find yerself being stalked through Primark, you'll probably only really see them when it's too late.
OMG it's a moving Puffer jacket with a large knife!

Old Knudsen was in Yankee Candle looking for a scent to mask rotting flesh and he sensed a presence where ever he went ..... it was the bloody sales staff, for fucks sake they make shoplifting a real challenge.