Saturday, 15 June 2013

Medical Science Discovery

Flegger Lee Cooper from the Shankill road, Belfast had an accident that while unfortunate for him increased our knowledge of the workings of the Loyalist Flegger, an angry creature driven by impulse and attracted by flickering lights or bright colours, they do not have anything better to do than protest along side a road. If they weren't doing that they would be standing on some street corner doing fuck all too.
The flag protests have become a running joke in Northern Ireland and a common tourist attraction when the gorilla cage at the zoo is closed. 

Mr Cooper was using a nail gun to attach various flags onto posts. "I wuz up da ladder wen my hed was itchy, I jus touched it litely with de gun an it went aff, Steeky said I wuz bleedin I told him to way an fuc.... No Surrender!"

Cooper was indeed bleeding, the nail went right through his skull narrowly missing his brain. It turns out that his brain is actually a baked potato.
With this information we x-rayed 100 Fleggers, 48 of them had baked potatoes, 50 of them had mash and 2 just had the knob of butter.

This goes to explain the very low IQ amongst flag protesters, we had at first thought it was because the Protestant community do not value education and heap scorn onto those who try to better themselves.  
Fleggers are potato mad! They say to Catholics to go eat potatoes as some kind of extremely lame insult all the while tucking into a bag of chips ...... do they know that chips come from potatoes I wonder?
They also mention the potato famine a lot, even singing songs about it. While in prison a warden caught Jamie Bryson with his penis inserted into a Russet . Fucking weird if you ask Old Knudsen and hes stuck his dick into many a thing.

His head is actually quite potato in shape ........ strange.

Potatoes are the only vegetable that Fleggers eat, yes I know they aren't vegetables but it's funny watching them think they'll live past their 50's thanks to their healthy diet, don't tell them. 

If we can understand potatoes then we can understand Fleggers.