Tuesday 4 June 2013

Look Up It's Cunnilingus

Michael Douglas got cancer from munching rug

For fucks sake! Smoking gives you cancer, knowing smokers gives you cancer, processed meat gives you cancer, cell phones give you cancer, bacon, caffeine, breast implants, air pollution, cheese, chocolate, constipation, dogs, eggs, deodorants, middle class, being left handed, x-rays, Wi-Fi, vitamins, pickles, electricity, dieting and now Cunnilingus ....

Old Knudsen tries not to be middle class and left handed but the pickles, constipation and the bean flicking cannot be done without.

Whats next, rim jobs and rainbow kisses? ... we must not live life afraid, we must do what we want and if it makes us terminally ill we laugh at death in the face for we have indeed lived! .... except deodorants, what the fuck is that about? a fucking disgusting habit no doubt invented by the southern English! aye the French don't use no underarm and they are feeble minded simpletons the lot of them.... on this occasion they have played the game of who smells like a hoor's handbag well. 

I'd definitely believe that deodorants combined with regular washing would indeed give you cancer. Old Knudsen was a top hospital consultant until recently when they did a background check on him but he'd know right?

I walk through a Home Bargains shop and smell the crop dusted perfume on the weemen and teenage boys and I just know they are going to die.

Oh and that last sentence was not a confession to anything so away an fuck.