Friday, 21 June 2013

Kirk Douglas Dead

Interest has risen since I told the world that prince Philip was a zombie, now people are asking, 'are there any more high profile zombies?'
Being undead is no longer such a social taboo in Hollywood and there are more than you'd think.

Kirk Douglas died of a heart attack in the mid 90's during a coke fueled orgy, as he has connections he had already arranged for his CIA buddies to inject him with the unstable secret serum which has been in general use on the public in such states such as Florida and Arizona with mixed results. A successful zombie rate of 40% is better than death and it looks like Douglas beat the odds. 

Being a Hollywood legend, Douglas has an army of volunteers allowing him to feed of them just for the honour of being ate by a Hollywood star of his status.   

Son Michael Douglas actually caught zombie syndrome after giving a rim job to undead Angela Lansbury. He now juggles being undead and being a has been movie star and father to three ... unless he eats one.

1 comment:

Tuesday Kid said...

You're a fucker. I thought he was really dead. I'm reading Martin Amis' Money. I felt guilty for laughing at all the Lorne Guyland bits.