Wednesday, 15 May 2013

Old Bitter Ball Bag

Recently Northern Ireland joined other civilised parts of the world and made abortion and marriage equality legal ........ no wait it did nothing of the sort, it did put a 5p charge on plastic carrier bags though.
The important issues that matter to the man in the street.

The awful waste that was killing the planet and then theres the getting stuck in trees, that really bothered me. Hold on, thats a Union flag stuck in that tree. Ach it might as well be a Tesco bag the way those fleggers treat it.

What if a sparrow swallowed it?

Old Knudsen didn't give plastic bags stuck up trees a second thought until he was told it was a problem and he hasn't noticed any reduction in litter since the tax so WTF? ... are the landfill sites doing better now cos I was losing sleep over it.

Before the tax came into place Tesco ..... the horse meat trader, started to phase out their normal plastic bags which were thin and crappy enough for even smaller flimsier bags.

The old Tesco bags could be made into a cool Halloween mask but the new bags that are made out of endangered butterfly wings would just look stupid.

To make up for their bags being small and flimsy they then sold you a sturdier one for 10p .... so nice of them.


If you were so fucking worried about the environment you'd have strict car emission laws rather than just the rip off MOT test to ensure yer car is road worthy ..... aye fix the fucking potholes in the roads if you want to help the earth.

Don't get me started about the raw sewage that flows into the sea and farmers with their slurry contamination and ruddy complexions.
Fuck yer 'oh the bags get stuck in the trees' argument, thanks to all the road works going on you've cut doon most of the fucking trees!!!!!!!!!  
You've probably noticed from this picture theres a bit of cleavage going on, well Old Knudsen likes tits, he also likes Lidl. Good quality goods at a price Old Knudsen likes.

No tits going on here but this one is better looking.

Lidl doesn't do carrier bags, you bring yer own bags or a box or whatever. If you want you can buy one of their large sturdy Lidl bags. These bags were 89p before the bag tax and then afterwards they went up to 99p.

Are you seeing a conspiracy yet? Why the fuck would these bags go up in price? the bag tax didn't affect them.
This is something that bugs Old Knudsen cos now you have a carry a big fuck off bag everywhere just in case you buy something.
"Do you need a bag for yer Big busty Brazilian jugs magazine sir?"

Fuck the Earth! the only up side to carrying big bags about with you everywhere is that it's easier to shop lift, not that I would of course as I think it's still not legal yet.