Thursday, 4 April 2013

Tom Cruise The Part Time Bog Trotter

Tom Cruise has achieved something that most Americans can only dream about, hes got himself a certificate to show hes got Irish ancestry.

Cruise was in Dublin for the premier of his new film, Oblivion which is about a man's internal struggle as he comes to term with wilting penis syndrome, a condition that affects 8 out of 10 men .... when they see yer Ma naked. 
The A-lister is no stranger to being Irish and won an Oscar for his Irish accent in the tear jerker Far and Away. The only other Italian American actor to out Irish him has been Leonardo Di Caprio the star of the movie Titanic, a bitter feud has developed between the two over the years but Tom looks like hes winning with this move.  
Tom Cruise receiving his certificate from some bog trotter that no one knows.   

Cruise, whose family can be traced back to Finn O'Cruise a leprechaun from the 12th century who used to hide behind trees and taunt travelers with his high pitched annoying laugh said, "It's great to be recognized as one of the little people in this fair city of dirty Dublin.... potato potato."  

The star stands at 4 ft 11in and would be considered tall for a leprechaun recently admitted in GQ magazine that he does indeed have a pot of gold buried at his home in Malibu and has installed anti-rainbow security devices to deter treasure hunters.

Peter Robinson the first minister of Northern Ireland was on hand to give his opinion as to why no one wants to claim British heritage from Northern Ireland as they will say they are Irish if pressed .... no one listened to him as usual.