Tuesday 9 April 2013

Remembering Thatcher

Margret Thatcher made a surprising come back from the dead today and had to be restrained as she wanted to go outside and eat some reporters.

Thatcher who was one the most loved Prime Ministers of Britain died due to autoerotic asphyxiation when her dementia caused her to forget the safety word, she was 87.

A friend of the stars she had the common touch too. She always cracked up when one of her cabinet members ripped off a fart and often invited members of the public around to enjoy any left over food rather than throw it out.... well she still threw it out and let the fuckers eat out of the bins. All people aged from 16 - 24 had this opportunity as a part of a job training scheme to be a hobo.

Thatcher became known as 'milk snatcher' when she took away free milk in schools. It's a little known fact that she wanted to replace the milk with a watery lead based drink but was voted down.

The Falklands conflict defined her reign of terror. Argentina invaded some British territory islands they laid a claim to with 50 year old ships and planes and cowardly ill-equipped and poorly trained troops.
As the rest of the world laughed and said WTF the UK attacked and retook the islands and became rulers of Argentina. We now get 89% of all royalties from the musical Evita. They cry a lot about their 11% but they can fuck off.

In Northern Ireland in the 80's, Thatcher's death squads were having their golden age and were busy training the Protestant terrorists and covering up things with the police..... the good old days when you could torture a Fenian cock sucker and get a medal and a movie for it.

Thatcher was targeted by the IRA during a bombing in a Brighton hotel, her body may be iron but her hair is steel which shielded her and her husband Lenny from the blast.

Her close friendship with US president Ronald Reagan is probably the reason she turned into a zombie. Reagan was indeed the walking dead and injected her with the B-actor virus on many occasions.
Regan and Thatcher openly flirted for the cameras which lead to whats known as Britain and the US having a special relationship though it's only the UK that goes on about that in some sad stalkery way.
Reagan was known as the Thatcher Snatcher for his love of English snatch. His then wife Nancy used to role play as being English and used to have three ways with Dick Van Dyke. 

Margret Thatcher will be remembered with a great fondness by her people. In fact impromptu street parties celebrating her life have sprung up all over.  We are a nation in mourning even though shes kind of returned.
Will she still be kept around like Prince Philip or will she be beheaded like the Queen mother and entombed in concrete?