Wednesday, 10 April 2013

Eel Be Back!

In China a 39-year-old man was doing a bit of drinking and decided to copy a scene from an X-rated film when he lost grip of the slippery eel he was using .... Don't you hate it when that happens?

He was of course putting it up his arse. The 20-inch Asian swamp eel decided it didn't like his chinky hole and started to chew it's way out causing massive internal bleeding.

Both are doing well once separated. Makes you think huh?

Fish are better up yer hole ..... so I've heard and you can get big ones for £1.00 according to the song. 

You can lead a horse to water but you can't train a monkey to fist you.  Old Knudsen's wise words should be made compulsory learning in schools. In the UK you can get rid of the religious education to make room for me ponders and in the US you can get rid of history and geography ..... whats that? they don't teach those subjects in American schools. 

Ya can't trust animals near yer private bits, Old Knudsen knows cos hes rid yer Ma. 

If yer a long time reader of Old Knudsen then you are probably still having nightmares about this picture.
If Old Knudsen has to see anymore broken glass on the streets he is going to go after yer chavs and spides with a bottle of spide champagne known as Buckfast and will shove them up their holes .... without lube. It's probably spides shitting on the sidewalks and blaming yon dogs too.

I worked in this office once and a gurl in the next cubicle kept borrowing my glue stick to shove it up her arse for intimate joy.
Nothing as bad as trying to use office supplies that smell like minging chinese food. When I say office it was more like a charity for mental health, Old Knudsen was on yon suicide hotline giving some really depressing fuckers the will to go on.

"I don't know what to do, I feel like killing myself"  ........ "Yer talking to the right person then cos I know all the ways to off yerself."

I never got any praise at my job ever though none of my callers ever called back again, so I must have cured them of their suicidal tendencies..... right?

  Aye this picture says it all.
Wednesday or Woden's day .... others call it hump day which explains all the humps in this post. If yer guy with yon Gangnam style dancing shit hasn't nuked us all yet then have a good un, if he has nuked us then my bad I assured the government he had nothing that could reach us. Lil Kim, just like his father would like nothing than to see Old Knudsen dead, in fact nearly everyone would like that but thats beside the point, you can't take that shite to heart Old Knudsen just whistles a happy tune.

We are all just dust in the wind, dancing with tears in our eyes so jog on.