Monday, 29 April 2013

Sass In The Hole

Yer Monday would have to be particularly crappy to take Nigel here up on his offer. What could he possibly have in mind? I bet it involves a game of Twister and some body chocolate .... actually that probably would make yer day better, who doesn't like chocolate?

Striking similarities between this ladies vadge and Nigel's belly button. I don't know about you but I'm wondering just how deep both of these are.

Old Knudsen likes his weemen well rounded, not in an intellectual way, why do weemen needs brains to wash the dishes?
A nice deep belly button is a gift from Gog. The stench trench and the bunghole don't really work for this unless you want typhoid or hairs in yer teeth.

  While Old Knudsen can enjoy a buff woman in excellent shape

He also enjoys a woman with curves and they don't all have to be in the right places.

So you get yer favourite sass, as an example Old Knudsen will go for McDonald's Honey BBQ sass, pour it into the lovely deep belly button and then proceed to dip yer nuggets (o'er er missus) or you can dip some fries into it.

What a lovely bonding activity and it sorts out yer lunch. I like to finish it by tonguing the last of the sass out, I bet yer getting well horny just reading this. yer inner Goddess is no doubt very moist.

One of Old Knudsen's hates is outies .... WTF get that button fixed, that ain't no good to man nor beast.
Old Knudsen used to have a boner for Kelly Rippa with the tiny nippas. When he seduced Ms Rippa , one hot New York day a few years back,  the smell of love juices was already in the air of that cheap motel room, the fresh scents from Kelly's love gash and the stale ones of many a broken promise that died in that room for $20.
When Old Knudsen feasted his eyes upon her ripped torso the outy sat there mocking him. "You didn't tell me you had an outy" ..... Kelly looked confused, "Just get out you deceiving hoor of Babylon and never, I repeat NEVER blacken my door again."

As breakups go, that one was not too bad.

Sunday, 28 April 2013

Sunday Sex

Is is Sunday all ready? time to post the hot weemen to try to tempt Christians away from children. I'm like Satan you see but with more sense.
I like this lass and her sexy expressions, I'm sure they work on someone.

Speaking of not very sexy, that bleached hair look. I shall forgive them and look at their nipples instead.
If she wasn't so slippery you could put yer drink on her arse.

Getting different types today to appeal to a wider audience of pedo.

Enjoy yer day of worship .... of Old Knudsen that is.

Saturday, 27 April 2013

Flegger Fail

The Union flag was wasn't flying over the city hall back then .... no one gave a fuck. 

Holy Cross Batman

You may not remember the trouble at Holy cross primary school in North Belfast, thats because it happened in 2001. A Catholic school for girls held hostage by Protestants who lived in the area. 

I'm not going into the various claims made in order to have a protest at the school, the actions taken were inexcusable.
Every day the children had to run the gauntlet of angry protestants who threw piss balloons, shit and blast bombs at the little girls and their parents. 

Old Knudsen thought the hunger strikers were dirty shites living with shit wallpaper in their prison cells but this is just as bad, fucking animals. 

Thats all in the past ..... or is it?

Now the Protestants of the area have painted the kerb stones outside of the school in red white and blue ..... I don't know, they must be French or something.

The council was going to remove but the cunts have now started protesting again threatening the council if they do remove and saying they'll paint it again .....real tough guys.

You can say the IRA did this and Republicans did that but you Loyalists, yer just as bad. What kind of big men does it take to scare little girls? 

Hey we struck a blow for our way of life and our British identity, aye we frightened then threw piss all over some 5 year-old girls, it was fucking funny to see them cry .... proud to be British.

Maybe scaring little children is the only way they can get hard. Bullies makes Old Knudsen sick, you are dirty fucking child abusing scumbags.

Friday, 26 April 2013

Wish You Weren't Here


Judge David McFarland released seven men on bail who admitted to rioting in the Ardoyne area of Belfast in July of 2012. 

McFarland who lives in a world of his own and is quite the soft touch. He gave 12 years to a bloke who repeatedly stabbed his wife to death and a killer who is serving a 30 year sentence and tried to escape got a whopping 12 months added on to his sentence .... tough justice... not!

McFarland went on to say.

"Obviously there maybe events in the intervening period and it would not be a good idea for you to get involved. In fact I would just go on holiday just in case temptation arises."

Listen lads, I know yer all unemployed and are right spidey scumbags but we don't want you causing trouble during the 12th holidays this year so why don't you all just take yerselves off to Tuscany for a couple of weeks.

I hear the lake district is beautiful during the summer, I myself enjoy the south of France, I could recommend some good restaurants if you want.  

Lets pass a motion of 'Boys will be boys' 

Aye that really told them, I bet you won't be seeing them again.  I hope I get McFarland on my cases.

Big Red One

It cost $800m for the Mars Exploration mission and what do the dirty little Rovers do? they draw, oh sorry they "accidentally" draw a big cock and balls on the planet's surface... The size looks like it's Hellboy's knob or something. 

Aliens are looking at that shaking their heads and thinking, "A planet full of fleggers, we were going to see if humankind was matured enough for our technology, I'm staying away from that mess."

Look at one of the pictures, aliens kindly drew on our planet in Peru .... and we draw a cock. 

As REM would say: 
Would you believe, they put a man on the moon? man on the moon Would you believe, they drew a cock on Mars and it was huge?

Thursday, 25 April 2013

The Stain Shall Remain

Up Dowson's Creek

New soundbite from the Protestant Coalition, "Make money, not policy." Now if you want to get rich fast, buy the fucking booklet to find out how.

The Protestant Coalition Is Not PC

A new group of Nazi zombies have appeared on the Northern Ireland political scene. It was a slow news week and so the The Protestant Coalition made it's debut. It says it is a political party that exists to protect and secure Ulster's British heritage and identity and to represent the Protestant, Unionist and Loyalist people.

A Flegger party. 

What that means is that it's a Prod party made up of anti-Catholics, Orangemen and ex BNP and Britain First Nazis.
Old Knudsen hates Nazis and the BNP have been on his shit list for years. The party leader Jim Dowson was a BNP fundraiser, his daughter Alice was the membership secretary. A BNP spinoff is Britain First which had Dowson and his bud Paul Golding involved.

Why do Nazis come from the mainland thinking they can tell the people of Norn Iron what to think? Dowson for some reason always goes for membership and glossy publications, that must be a money earner cos that is what he has done in all the other parties too. Now hes collecting yet another list of names to use and to sell on.

Make no mistake, this is Northern Ireland's new Nazi party. Exploit weakness using patriotic emblems to invoke feelings of strength and that you actually matter... you don't. 

Dowson also has his fingers in the UK Life League which is a British pressure group that opposes abortion. He rakes in money from that while not really doing anything.... It's the thought that counts.

To try to get local favour he enlisted the help of Willie Frazer, a crazed hate filled lunatic that makes less sense than a drunk cat. 
Both Dowson and Frazer are on bail but have shown you can do anything without Interweb access and the threat of prison hanging over you. 

This party is dead in the water. No one wants anything to do with dodgy Dowson or Taser Frazer. The fleggers have lost interest in the protests, they are in-fighting, losing everywhere they go so what do you not do? You don't set up a fucking flegger political party expecting to get anywhere .... unless of course yer just in it for some quick money.

Click  BECOME A MEMBER or make a DONATION either way we get money so yay us!     


Wednesday, 24 April 2013

For England And St George Best!

Yet another thing that annoys Old Knudsen are those vehicles that have reversing alarms. Not the beep beep beep ones but the ones that have the male English accent that states with authority "VEHICLE IS REVERSING, OUT OF THE WAY PECKS"  or something like that.

Then I whipped the bloody wog with my riding crop until he gave me a refund for my damaged ready to eat meal, haw haw haw! ... Isobel, you are so lovely.

Old Knudsen has nothing against the English, even though 97% of them are cock heads. They think they are better than everyone else because ..... A hundred years ago they ruled most of the world? is that it? what about the two times the Americans had to save their arses from the Germans? Thats after having beaten the English twice themselves. No wonder they harbour so much resentment towards yanks.

The UK is a small nation that keeps shouting, "I used to be someone, I was important you know." Maybe Old Knudsen has issues about the Sassenachs, at being called 'Paddy' while serving in the King's army. I much preferred being called cannon fodder. 

The reversing vehicle sounds to my ears like, "SEE HERE PADDY IRISHMAN BE GONE OR YOU'LL GET A JOLLY GOOD THRASHING AND MAYBE AN EVICTION" No wonder Old Knudsen goes over and starts a fight with the bus or van.

Another thing that annoys the fuck out of Old Knudsen are self check outs. I don't get paid to do yer jobs! Also it's got some plummy sounding English bint shouting in a polite but firm manner .... you know, the way you speak to foreigners. "PLEASE SCAN YOUR CLUBCARD" my wha? "DID YOU USE YOUR OWN BAGS?" thats getting a little personal "PLEASE INSERT CASH" .... At that point I do a runner, no one stops you when the alarm goes off anyway, the fat lazy security guard doesn't do speed walk chases.    

You can't escape her, if you get into a lift/elevator, Otis says, "GOING DOWN" of course Old Knudsen has to say, "thats what yer Ma said last night" it's an OCD thing, much like farting in lifts too.
 What are you wearing? ... How did you get this number Knudsen?

Ach I suppose it's good to know that Joanna Lumley is still getting work and has cornered the market on female computer voices. 
The only English voice Old Knudsen would respect is Brian Blessed, he has a cool authoritative and angry voice that MUST be obeyed, "OUT OF THE WAY YOU FOUL SPIDEY HALLION, FOR ENGLAND, HARRY AND  ST GEORGE!"



Tuesday, 23 April 2013

Blurb Burn

The sexual abuse allegations against Rolf Harris have taken a serious turn. It seems that Rolf was recruited by the Nation of Overlord Lemurs in the late 70's and not only has he been putting his didgeridoo where it wasn't wanted but he was also plotting the enslavement of mankind too. Fry the bastard!
Popular Flegger motivational speaker Jim Dowson has stopped pretending to be his daughter Alice online and registered his own web page The Protestant collation. Dowson who is on strict bail restrictions that includes staying off the Interweb probably meant this to be a spit in  the eye of the law much like the fleg protests are, he also really wants to scam some money off people by them joining his white protestant people only club.... much like the KKK but without the bed sheets.
The web page was quickly transferred to another name but don't worry, Old Knudsen was fast at reporting the breach as he doesn't like those criminals to get away with shit. You can change names and delete comments but online nothing goes away completely.

After a fox news channel mistakingly put the name Zooey Deschanel up on screen as the Boston bomber instead of  Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, the actress took to Twitter to clear up that she is not the Boston bomber.
"They told me I was in Turkey and then they strapped me to a table and kept pouring water into my mouth asking me about Al-Qaeda, the next thing I know I wake up in my apartment and I'm missing 24 hrs of my life, it was like the date I had with Old Knudsen."

The dept of Homeland security have not been available for comment. 

An Ohio woman was told she was too fat to use the tanning bed at Aloha Tanning salon in Norton as she was over 230 LBS and the upright machine was broken. Disgusted Kelly McGrevey had bought a month long tanning package and was then refused a refund.

Maybe you should buy a month long gym package as a tan will in no way improve what you have going on.

16 year-old Patrick Kane has become Britain's first bionic boy when he received a prosthetic arm that can be controlled by a smartphone app. Patrick's first question was what every 16 year-old boy would ask and the answer was yes, it would feel like he was being wanked by a sex bot if he used the hand.

Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams is denying that he kept silent about his brother sexually abusing his own daughter for 9 years. It is important to remember that Adams also denies having been in the IRA.
Interesting to think that after all this dickhead has been through, it might be this that finishes him.


Monday, 22 April 2013

William Shatner RIP


This blog may have given the the reader some incorrect information over the years, that was due to faulty intelligence, no not mine.  Those responsibly have been executed. I now with great sadness must report upon the death of Hollywood great, William Shatner.

No this is not yet another hoax/honest mistake it's real I tells you. The parallel universe William Shatner, you know, the evil one with the goatee died. Evil Shatner still like horse breeding but unlike our one he did it a completely different way..... he shall be missed, but not by the horses.

The Real Loyalist Culture

The Loyalists of Northern Ireland like most sheeple tend to believe what they want to and ignore any pesky facts. The question, "How can you be a Loyalist if you go against the wishes of the Queen?" tends to remain unanswered.
When asked about the culture they keep banging on about what you get are a repeating of words they have heard somewhere else, it's our culture, it's our heritage, stripping away our British identity, our culture, our heritage.

Loyalist culture is this: Drinking while watching parades, drinking while watching a bonfire, drinking while watching the kids you've directed throw rocks at the police, drinking while you slap yer wife around, drinking while you fondle yer kids, drinking while you mouth off about Catholics, drinking while a crowd of you go looking for a single Catholic to beat up, drinking while on the computer complaining about armchair warriors not turning up for protests and of course drinking while you masturbate thinking about flags ... thats why Gog gave us two hands. 

A culture based on getting so drunk you can't stand, hatred and oppressing Fenians. Now that the DUP is losing the firm grip they had on being the main voice in power and forcing their will on others, the Loyalists are worried the Catholics will become so powerful that they will treat them as shitty as they have been treated over the years.... they are afraid.

They may complain until they are red white and blue in the face about being British and how their heritage is under threat from the Irish Republicans but soon they show their real agenda of bigotry as they call for the death of all taigs and how they are all scum.  

A frightened poorly educated people who ain't too smart.

Loyalists who are all for God, Queen, Ulster and flags do not treat anything they value with respect but if you threaten any of them then they become uber patriots for as long as it suits them. A lie they cannot maintain for long. The only convictions they have are prison convictions.

Here are just some of the flags they claim love and respect.         

All touts out! For those who speak English a tout is an informer or just someone who calls the police on the hoods. A pretty pointless statement, might as well paint 'Just say no.' 

Flags put up to mark territory and to intimidate. Put up and left to rot, hardly proper flag etiquette and certainly not respectful.
The Queen has stated through the college of arms that she wants the Union flag to only fly on designated days so when it is flown it will mean something and be more special, such as the Queen's birthday. Flying all the time people just don't pay attention and might not even know it's a royal day.
Shame on you Loyalists! If the Queen saw the state in which you leave her flag, she would not be amused. Yet Loyalists who claim to be loyal to the crown are happy to let her flag rot.... it's actions that count, not your lying words.