Monday, 25 February 2013

Knudsen Does History

I mean who really wants to see how the scan turned out? ..... apart from me.

Today I'll be reminding you on how Old Knudsen has influenced history. Not all good events but ones that lead to great things. As an immortal time traveling fallen angel I can be anywhere at any time.
If  Old Knudsen hadn't said "Abe, ya look miserable, you've been hunting vamps for too long, go out and catch a show with the wife, I'll look after the place, what could possible go wrong?" then you wouldn't of had the Lincoln memorial.

If Old Knudsen wasn't such a prankster, "hey Adolf yer zipper is doon" then he wouldn't have paused to check it and he would have been hit by a speeding bus. Thus depriving Germany of one of it's greatest leaders.

It was Old Knudsen that got James Stewart out of his life in street gangs and into the world of movies.

I must point out that back in the day it was legal to fuck underage gurls so there was no such thing as pedophilia.... it was all good.  Mary came to me and said it was mine but that she was having an abortion. Old Knudsen talked her out of it as he was feeling broody, almost got her to name him Justin but you know weemen.  He was a no good hippy anyway and got arrested for distributing food and wine without a catering license. The Romans were very strict about those sorts of things.

I started off the Ballymena tradition of sheep shagging when I spread stories about how I caught St Patrick giving it to the wooly weemen in 430 AD. I thought it would discredit him but no, the dirty buggers felt that their love was validated.

My genetic experiments brought you the race of giant dogs that can be a loyal substitute for weemen worried that their men will um stray ..... no wait I haven't done that yet, well I have but in the future.

I taught Moses to make up better shit or you'd have what is on those tablets.

Then there was the time I made YOU!