Saturday, 12 January 2013

Operation Standstill Fails

Operation Standstill was a joint event of last night holding violent protests by the following criminal groups, the UVF, DUP, BNP and the Orange Order. Their aim was to disrupt the lives of normal people going about their business ..... because it's a cuntish thing to do.

Roads may have been blocked, half bricks and fireworks thrown but Operation Standstill was a total failure. The rain poured doon and so did the tears of the boys doing the rioting.

Old Knudsen saw many people unaffected by the trouble and heard the ice cream van's chimes as it drove around the wet cold streets of the town. It was a nice night to stay in anyway, only half wits would be out in that, pass me another beer and pop a movie in.

Before the planned violence kicked off we asked UVF hardman Lenny from the block a few British citizenship questions since he was so proud to be British and all.

1) Is the following statement TRUE or FALSE?
'Ulster Scots is a dialect which is spoken in Northern Ireland.'

Lenny: False! we talk British.

Sorry, it's true, though only spoken by middle class people who think they can get a book published about it and those who wish to secure funding from the EU so the Catholics don't get all the money for their real dumbass language Gaelic

2) The number of children and young people up to the age of 19 in the UK is   A. 13 million, B. 14 million, C. 15 million or D 16 million?

Lenny: I know this yin don't tell ma it's number 4 .

It's C. 15 million .... 15 million cases of fail and future fail.

3) Which of the following statements is correct?  A. Information in the cenus is immediately available for the public to search or  B. Information in the cenus is kept for 100 years.

Lenny: ......... wha?

It's B. Information in the cenus is kept for 100 years. Are you actually from this country?

Lenny: Aye I'm British from Ulster thats in Britain. I hate Taigs  ..... and clowns.... fuck the Pope ... no surrender .... I'm British .... do you hav a fuckin problem?  

Lenny may have a tear tattoo under his eye but really hes a sensitive soul that is crying on the inside. The English are like his ideal father, he wants to be a good little Prod by hating Catholics and waving the English Union flag about ..... things he thinks being British is about.

Like his real father, the English also hate Lenny and the people of Northern Ireland. Trouble making lazy chavs that sound Irish, what the jolly fuck is that about? Can Ireland not just take them back?

You have to feel sorry for the poor flag protester. They are really too stupid to have a clue.

While Jeremy Kyle was over the other day he did DNA tests on them, it seems that either one or both of their parents were Irish, yes they were born in the north of Ireland.

Don't forget that if you had family here in Northern Ireland before 1921 then they really were Irish as there were no separated 6 counties then  ... who do you feel more closer to now?  You are stupid tribal Celts, embrace the truth. 

Old Knudsen's shit has higher IQ than 200 flag protesters.

Well I'm sorry to tell you that not only do you not live in Great Britain (you live in the United Kingdom) you cannot be British and never will be, do you know why? .... because you are getting on like Fenians!