Tuesday, 8 January 2013

It's Not Easy Being Green

Anyone ever notice how much the CGI hulk from the movies looks like Charlie Sheen? Mr Sheen who has probably experimented with gamma radiation has lost it more times than ....... yer MA!

So I was just wondering ...... like you do. If the hulk grows to about 10 feet tall then how big does his cock get?  You've all asked that question, don't lie.

He'll make some farm animal very happy.

So I looked to Google to find out how big the hulk's cock is. Did you know there is some wrestler called Hulk Hogan?

Just like how you have to be careful what you wish for you also have to be careful what you Google for.
Old Knudsen always has eye bleach and an ice pick to jam into his ear should he ever see something he wasn't suposed to see.

 A still from the animated Hulk Hogan adventures show on Disney.

The TV show from the 70's with all its brutal anal sex was no use to me.

Then I got bored and perhaps a little um anxious.

When Old Knudsen sees a big pair of norks he doesn't think about hulk toys. The only action figure he thinks about is Fat Kenny G or FKG that lives in Old Knudsen's undercrackers. Like the Hulk FKG gets bigger and bigger and may smash doon and bust in yer back door before he cruelly spits at you. 

Then on Google,  She hulk got my attention and what is it about chicks with dicks that men find so arousing? If they say they don't then they are lying due to some sense of macho shame.  Hey Gog made them all so quit with the discrimination. Did you know that 1 out of 12 weemen are born with a penis? .... its true, many are cut off when born but in developing cuntries like Ireland and Italy they get through and live a mostly normal life.

Back on to the Hulk's penis ... Hulk likes fisting!

Well he has big feet, but small ears and a small nose. Using these guidelines I feed the data into my computer and after 10 seconds of beeps and flashing lights a read out scrolled out from some slot thing.

Old Knudsen took the slip of paper into his hands that trembled with anticipation, his old eyes squinted and focused on the type, "Short and thick does the trick" ..... huh, he was sure it would be long loose and full of juice. Lucky it wasn't 'short tight and covered in shite.' .... what colour does the Hulk shit? a question that would have to wait for a less busy day.

Another triumph for science. I wouldn't be surprised if Old Knudsen got the Knobell peace prize for his work this field.
Well he didn't work in a field but Old Knudsen remembers when all of this was fields, right over there was the ole oak tree. Back in 18elevenity seven I shot dead 3 hippies for tying yellow ribbons around it.  Their cult leader Tony Orlando told them to do it .... aye right, like thats a real name.