Wednesday, 16 January 2013

GI Joe Hard Soft Plastic

Sam Blaze the hero who inspired the original GI Joe action figures and the spin off Geyperman and Action man figures has died aged 49.
Sgt Blaze served his nation well and is well known for defeating the group of aliens known as "The Intruders" and the villainous forces of Cobra.

The American hero is thought to have died from a 4 day long erection enhanced by illegal  plasticisers. 
The forensic report showed that his inner elastic had completely rotted through and the hooks that held his body together were extremely rusted. 

In 2009 Blaze got a penis implant so he and his wife Melancholy Barbie could make porn movies as the action figure market had gone for the more realistic type of figure when the GI Joe movie came out. 
Blaze had almost bankrupted himself with legal battles over his exploits and needed the money.  The couple were harshly criticized for their wooden performances and their porn movies were a big limp flop.  

Melancholy Barbie didn't see the point to it all and committed suicide in their New Jersey appartment.


Blaze went on a 4 year drugs, drink and sex bender on a doonwards spiral doing any depraved act for money .  
The two actresses who were with Blaze at his time of death were in shock. "One minute he was ramming us home and the next he was dead, it really spoiled the scene .... until we saw that he still had plastic and so we finished the movie."

Only true professionals can finish a movie when dead. We salute you Sgt Blaze.