Monday, 31 December 2012

2012 Person Of Interest

2012 is coming to an end and so you ask yerself, 'will the police link me to that brutal murder?' no wait, thats what I ask myself. You ask, 'who do I remember from 2012 that made it such a great year?' well for the sake of this post that is what you asked yerself.
Here are the top 10 peeps of 2012. The ones I've judged to be big names and in the news during the year.

10 Usain Bolt won 3 gold medals in the Olympics and made all the others look bad because instead of running he walked to victory at a brisk pace. There were plenty of athletes that could be on this list but Bolt was a big self promoting twat mugging for every camera he found so he made it.

9 Nadezhda Tolokonnikova the hot one from Pussy Riot, seen here in a political porno while 9 months pregnant. The Russians upset the world when they gave a hottie a harsh prison sentence .... that is so ghey.

8 Lance Armstrong gave up his 10 year legal battle to clear his name of drug charges. Since he gave up that meant he was automatically guilty so they stripped him of his titles, took his remaining testicle and stole his bike so he couldn't ride ever again ..... fucking cunts! Old Knudsen is still waiting on actual drug test proof BTW. 

7 Prince Harry was stupid enough to be caught naked and frolicking about in a Vegas hotel room. The spare to the throne who has started to grow on people with his friendly casual but ginger attitude was soon sent off to war again.

6 Mitt Romney went on a European insult tour then returned to the US to insult 47% of the population and anyone else who was not a bigoted moron. He came second in the race to the White house and with the help of his GOP rape gang more or less destroyed his own political party and gave Obama the election. Seen here with a fake tan pretending to be Hispanic, he later put on black face to court the 'negro' vote.

5 Kate Middleton got her small saggy tits out on a holiday in France then ended up on every newspaper except any in the UK thanks to the palace censoring the press. Kate Middleton topless has become Old Knudsen's most searched for topic on his blog. Horny Kate is now up the duff and was hospitalised for severe morning sickness which is quite a common occurrence if you conceive while doing the reverse cowgirl.

4  Pope Benedict XVI said that gheys weren't fully human and then said the born in a manger surrounded by animals story of Jesus was bollocks. Well duh! you'd have to be some kind of special imbecile to take the Bible and New Testament as historical. Thanks for spoiling it for the kids you cunt. Treat em mean keep them keen huh? 

Julian Assange jumped bail for rape and went into hiding in the Ecuadorean embassy in London. Don't worry, he didn't pay the thousands of pounds for the bail money some gullible people did instead. Seen here doing air quotes 'If you have sex with a woman is it really "rape" because shes consented once, that should cover you for any other time right?' He still claims to be a victim of persecution from his leaking of classified information blaming the US, UK and Sweden for all the woes in the world ..... lame! 
2  He may be dead but now his legacy is in ruins . TV presenter and radio DJ Sir Jimmy Savile has gone from being a national hero/treasure to being the nation's worst sex offender ever. The story has shown the BBC to be a nest of pedos and pervs and so is anyone else that was around in the 70's and 80's. It turned out that Savile made millions for charity and volunteered in hospitals so he could have easy access to the sick children. A favourite of the Royal family, Savile was once deemed too creepy to head the Children in need charity drive held every year. Of all the honours stripped from him his dead memory still has his knighthoods from the Queen and the Pope. 

1  Kim Jong-un of North Korea is the man. 2012 Old Bitter Balls person of interest. He executed a military officer for not crying at his Da's funeral by firing a mortar at him. His scientists also found a cave supposed to contain the ancient bones of unicorns, like the one Kim's ancestors rode. Recently he deified the world by launching a satellite into space. Thats better than Kim Jong Ill as he could barely get it up and couldn't keep it up. We expect great things from this crazy dictator who likes to look at things.

Is that food? ...... No sir thats the button that launches the missiles. 

Yes sir, thats food ....... I wasn't going to ask that you cheeky cunt!

Recently the Chinese media thought that The Onion, was a real news source and that the award of World's sexiest man going to Kim Jong-un was genuine. You so flunny. An Iranian news outlet Fars also used an Onion story saying that a Gallup poll found that rural white Americans prefer Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over President Barack Obama. Fars also took the credit for the story. The Onion then commended Fars for its fine reporting.
Fucking lies .... Old Knudsen hates it, why he was just saying that to crazy ol man Trump who did not make onto the list, nor did Kim Kardashian's arse.