Monday, 31 December 2012

Happy New Year .... Soon

The Tits Have Eyes

Christina Hendricks who is the most lovely of all weemen has cum out and told OBB that the reason she is in more photographs online than a Kardashian is because she suffers from a rare condition known has eyeplasia.
In recent weeks the tender fleshy large rounded growths on her chest developed eyes. Because she has so many pictures of her baps in various dresses she can now be photoshopped into new situations.

Hendricks is stoic to her incurable condition and resigned to the fact that she will have to hang up her norks and quit being the wanking inspiration to thousands.She went on to say, "It has altered my perspective."

Geoffrey Arend the husband of Hendricks said, "I knew it was too good to be true, now Christina has to wear boob goggles when she gives me a ditty wank."

Jon Hamm whose fingers taste like bacon

Jon Hamm who also stars in the TV show Mad Men with Hendricks said, "Old Knudsen will make any old shit up, he disgusts me."

2012 Person Of Interest

2012 is coming to an end and so you ask yerself, 'will the police link me to that brutal murder?' no wait, thats what I ask myself. You ask, 'who do I remember from 2012 that made it such a great year?' well for the sake of this post that is what you asked yerself.
Here are the top 10 peeps of 2012. The ones I've judged to be big names and in the news during the year.

10 Usain Bolt won 3 gold medals in the Olympics and made all the others look bad because instead of running he walked to victory at a brisk pace. There were plenty of athletes that could be on this list but Bolt was a big self promoting twat mugging for every camera he found so he made it.

9 Nadezhda Tolokonnikova the hot one from Pussy Riot, seen here in a political porno while 9 months pregnant. The Russians upset the world when they gave a hottie a harsh prison sentence .... that is so ghey.

8 Lance Armstrong gave up his 10 year legal battle to clear his name of drug charges. Since he gave up that meant he was automatically guilty so they stripped him of his titles, took his remaining testicle and stole his bike so he couldn't ride ever again ..... fucking cunts! Old Knudsen is still waiting on actual drug test proof BTW. 

7 Prince Harry was stupid enough to be caught naked and frolicking about in a Vegas hotel room. The spare to the throne who has started to grow on people with his friendly casual but ginger attitude was soon sent off to war again.

6 Mitt Romney went on a European insult tour then returned to the US to insult 47% of the population and anyone else who was not a bigoted moron. He came second in the race to the White house and with the help of his GOP rape gang more or less destroyed his own political party and gave Obama the election. Seen here with a fake tan pretending to be Hispanic, he later put on black face to court the 'negro' vote.

5 Kate Middleton got her small saggy tits out on a holiday in France then ended up on every newspaper except any in the UK thanks to the palace censoring the press. Kate Middleton topless has become Old Knudsen's most searched for topic on his blog. Horny Kate is now up the duff and was hospitalised for severe morning sickness which is quite a common occurrence if you conceive while doing the reverse cowgirl.

4  Pope Benedict XVI said that gheys weren't fully human and then said the born in a manger surrounded by animals story of Jesus was bollocks. Well duh! you'd have to be some kind of special imbecile to take the Bible and New Testament as historical. Thanks for spoiling it for the kids you cunt. Treat em mean keep them keen huh? 

Julian Assange jumped bail for rape and went into hiding in the Ecuadorean embassy in London. Don't worry, he didn't pay the thousands of pounds for the bail money some gullible people did instead. Seen here doing air quotes 'If you have sex with a woman is it really "rape" because shes consented once, that should cover you for any other time right?' He still claims to be a victim of persecution from his leaking of classified information blaming the US, UK and Sweden for all the woes in the world ..... lame! 
2  He may be dead but now his legacy is in ruins . TV presenter and radio DJ Sir Jimmy Savile has gone from being a national hero/treasure to being the nation's worst sex offender ever. The story has shown the BBC to be a nest of pedos and pervs and so is anyone else that was around in the 70's and 80's. It turned out that Savile made millions for charity and volunteered in hospitals so he could have easy access to the sick children. A favourite of the Royal family, Savile was once deemed too creepy to head the Children in need charity drive held every year. Of all the honours stripped from him his dead memory still has his knighthoods from the Queen and the Pope. 

1  Kim Jong-un of North Korea is the man. 2012 Old Bitter Balls person of interest. He executed a military officer for not crying at his Da's funeral by firing a mortar at him. His scientists also found a cave supposed to contain the ancient bones of unicorns, like the one Kim's ancestors rode. Recently he deified the world by launching a satellite into space. Thats better than Kim Jong Ill as he could barely get it up and couldn't keep it up. We expect great things from this crazy dictator who likes to look at things.

Is that food? ...... No sir thats the button that launches the missiles. 

Yes sir, thats food ....... I wasn't going to ask that you cheeky cunt!

Recently the Chinese media thought that The Onion, was a real news source and that the award of World's sexiest man going to Kim Jong-un was genuine. You so flunny. An Iranian news outlet Fars also used an Onion story saying that a Gallup poll found that rural white Americans prefer Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad over President Barack Obama. Fars also took the credit for the story. The Onion then commended Fars for its fine reporting.
Fucking lies .... Old Knudsen hates it, why he was just saying that to crazy ol man Trump who did not make onto the list, nor did Kim Kardashian's arse.


Sunday, 30 December 2012

Buy Buy Guns


Many people queued up at the Los Angeles Memorial Sports Arena and the Van Nuys Masonic Temple to hand in their firearms in exchange for grocery store gift cards. 

Cards ranged from $100 for handguns, shotguns and rifles, and up to $200 for assault weapons.

Valerie Butler aged 50 was getting rid of one of her guns and said "There's a bunch of nuts out here, and they're coming in when you're sleeping. You got to protect yourself."

Charles Edwards aged 60 said that $100 of free groceries, was worth his 50 mile trip. He went on to say how many people were doing it as they felt bad about the Sandy Hook tragedy also "Times are tough." He still has a shotgun at home. "That's all I need."

By the afternoon the event had already surpassed the 1,673 guns collected last year, and officials were scrambling to get more gift cards, which were donated by Ralphs.
Most of the weapons recovered were "mom and pop guns," police said — hunting rifles, shotguns — but they got a few dozen assault weapons as well.

People are merely getting rid of any of their extra guns they don't use much for some grocery money. It's all very nice and all but would anyone intent on shooting up a school be handing in their weapons?
Will these weapons make a difference? .... no they won't.

OMG! a rocket launcher .... um so what, were there any rockets to go with it? Lucky it's off the streets, someone might have tripped on it.

Old Knudsen cares nothing about a ban or restrictions on semi-automatic weapons, youse lot are twats and should leave weapons to professionals like him.

I think a law could be made against assault rifles, on the basis that most of the people calling for new laws don't know anything about weapons. 
You'll still have the semi-automatic handguns though, I doubt that anyone will restrict those too much. It's all about keywords people. ASSAULT RIFLE, BUSHMASTER, words that get clueless civvies ranting on Facebook.

There are millions of guns out there in America, for fucks sake for a few thousand dollars you can get a license to deal them and go sell assault rifles over the border in Mexico. Where do you think the cartels get most of their guns from? Mexico has strict gun owning laws .... does them little good.

Will gun bans/restrictions get grandfathered to include all the weapons already bought? why no because that would be impossible to implement. People are hoarding them now and the economy has been stimulated.

On Van Nuys Boulevard a homeless woman was in critical condition after a man walked out a shop with a bottle of rubbing alcohol, he poured it all over the homeless lady and threw a match at her and then ran.

Violet Phillips in her 60's often slept on a bus stop bench in front of the 24hrs Walgreens convenience store.  

Isopropyl alcohol or rubbing alcohol is difficult to buy in the UK, there is a weaker version called surgical spirit that is sold in its place.

Now go compare this case to the lack of guns in the UK.  Crazy people will always find a way.  

Andy Gipson Hates Fags

Mississippi state Republican Representative Andy Gipson has taken to Facebook to air his views on ghey marriage.

According to Leviticus 20:13, “If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.”

Ok, let me rephrase that.  Mississippi state Republican Representative Andy Gipson has taken to Facebook to air what some anonymous Jew a couple of thousand years ago in the Middle east thinks what his god thinks about gheys. 

Gipson thinks that gheyness is  “unnatural” and causes “disease.” I suppose hes done some personal research to cum to that conclusion. 
How can you represent all the gheys in Mississippi with that bigoted attitude?  

Here is Old Knudsen's offer.  If yer a stupid fucker like Gipson or many of the others I've encountered, don't go to some random book of fairy tales written by people who didn't know how to tie shoe laces, cum to Old Knudsen and he'll give you a cracker of an opinion and it will be the correct one.

E-mail address is at the bottom on this post.



Fun For Tourists

With all the Loyalist protests about city halls flying the Union flag every single day ..... no hold on, why do we call them Loyalists? they are doing the opposite of being loyal to the law of the Queen. Ok then.
I was looking through the photos of the year and it mentioned about how 11th night bonfires were given government funding to attract tourists.
Don't recall any commercials or news of up and coming events what so ever but it's not like they'd lie, is it?

The Rebellious Irish (their new title) get drunk and fight anyone who looks like a Catholic or a stranger at these fires.
You wouldn't want to go to these areas during the day, never mind at night, in a strange place with everywhere closed.

What kind of brain fart got these events government funding when they are closing hospitals?  Oh yeah, the ruling party is Protestant.... it all makes perfect sense.

See these fires? .... this is the shit that these tourists call 911 for.

These fires cost local councils £200,000 a year to clean up and repair roads afterwards. These fires and the parades that follow should not get any form of government funding, it isn't culture, these people don't have a clue what culture is .... this is enabling. Lets fund KKK parades because they have been around for 100 years. 

If you want to parade then pay for it yerself. Just think of all the money that could be used for new prisons to put these people that cause trouble and destroy the tourist industry into. 

So sick of idiots running the cuntry into the ground and trying to appease the hoods instead of smashing some heads. 

Sunday Salad Toss

I like the brickwerk, the orange lass in pink you can have. It's terrible what people do to themselves and think it looks good. Old Knudsen thought that was a phase in the 1980's but no, they still do it.

Here is my lazy Sunday post designed to attract Christians away from children and onto adults.

Is that a Bible in yer pocket or do you have a colostomy bag ? .... no thats not right, ah! yer pleased to see them... don't get that orange shit on my sheets!

So thats how the pubes keep getting into the margarine!

At least Sheri keeps her clothes on in the kitchen. Dressed up, must be going to church.

She looks like a nice woman ... someone you can talk too. Don't know why I'd want to talk to her but still, why do I never meet any nice weemen?

Ach this wank fest of a post seems a little blonde top heavy. Old Knudsen likes the odd blonde but prefers brunettes, he was raped and pillaged by ABBA you see. 

There, that hits the spot.

Saturday, 29 December 2012

Semi-Automatic Gun Control

Do you really want to ban these?

Deer Arnie

There are no nice humans, just mean.

Snow Shite And The Chopper Man

So I was bored and I watched Snow White and the Huntsman. For fucks sake I had to have been bored.
I couldn't get past the premise that.

Kristen Stewart who is on the run from an evil Queen in a forest but has time to slap on lots of make up is better looking 'fairer' than. Locked up for 10 years yet you've shaped yer eyebrows and can expertly apply eye shadow. 

Charlize Theron ...... not even when the Queen gets all old and decaying is Stewart better looking.

I also cannot believe that Stewart is pure ..... the lass is a trampire and has forgotten what it's like to be pure. Maybe her left nostril is pure but thats it.

Also can you not breath through yer nose? Ya fucking mouth breather, just let yer rabbit teeth do all the acting.
Even if I could suspend belief about Stewart her acting was shite, that film could have been a lot better.
I think we all know what director Rupert Sanders was thinking about instead of the movie. It seems that there is going to be a sequel and he isn't involved. The next director will be a eunuch so maybe Stewart can concentrate on doing some acting instead of some cock.

Bravo, best acting ever!

Oh and what the fuck was up with Thor's accent? "Ok Chris that was great, can you do the next take in the style of an Aussie Shrek?"

If you want to grunge up a fairytale then do it but they seemed to want to grunge it up so it's taken seriously and at the same time be camp and playful which didn't work. Too much went into the look and too little went into the character development.

Friday, 28 December 2012

The Kim Jong Jesus Naked Bukkake Post

Old Knudsen gets more readers/viewers than many think he deserves. Hes been told to put ads onto his blog and make some money but he says ... fuck aff Old Knudsen doesn't sell out for a pittance, he'll wait for the big bucks before he sells out. Here are what my accidental readers search for to get onto my blog right now.

A 4 letter word has served Knudsen well, that would be .... Kate. Thank gog for the need to see bare flesh .
317 people entered my blog looking for Kate Beckinsale nude.

Heather Clem got her 15 minutes of fame when she shagged wrestler Hulk Hogan..... sorry I just threw up in me mouth. While 164 people searched for her Old Knudsen wonders why? Shes a trophy wife with big fake tits who is past her sell by date, she doesn't need to be putting it out there at her age.
Old Knudsen wouldn't touch her with yer dick.

 There are those who might and since Old Knudsen is a giver .....

Kate Beckinsale returns with 99 peeps wanting to see her naked She is delightful even if a little under developed in the boob area.
 She makes it up with her arse ..... I'm sure she is a very nice person too, whatever.

Bukkake got 60 search hits .... who the fuck cums onto my blog looking for Bukkake?

Oh shut the fuck up Picard! Don't judge me. Bukkake is all fun and games until someone loses an eye. Be careful out there.

Kim Jong Il  the ex dear leader may be dead but 46 people have been looking for him ..... we think hes gone underground.
Holly Sweeney is the ex gurlfriend of some golfer bloke. While the 22 year-old lass is quite hot for Northern Ireland.
She keeps slapping on a ton of makeup that hides her youth and natural beauty, she listens to middle aged photographers who haven't been anywhere and wouldn't know sexy if it bit them. 42 people searched my blog for Holly Sweeney

Birth of Christ got 32 people, probably due to the Pope saying it wasn't true ..... How dare you question the Bible! off to Hell you pedo lover.

Well hes partly right. There is NO historical proof at all that the birth of Christ even happened at all. Just because you state it as fact, doesn't make it so. Go look into the history of mythology and see everything that Christianity stole from other older religions.
The Romans were the ones who set Christianity up as a force to be reckoned with, they have long invaded and plundered other nations for their best inventions and ideas, even their short swords were from Spain.
Not an original people but if you want to believe that god stuck his hot throbbing spirit into a 12 year-old gurl then let that child of pedophile rape get tortured to death then good for you .... you fucked in the head cunt. Don't let the lack of facts and evidence hit you on the way to Hell.

Kate Middleton naked got 30 searchers. She had well over 3000 on the week she whipped them out. I don't see the attraction, while shes pretty she just doesn't do it for Old Knudsen .... shes no Hilary Clinton.

 I'll leave you with this positive/nice image after seeing those unimpressive royal norks and please people, clean up yer act for the new year, yer fucking perverts.