Sunday, 11 November 2012

The Cod Particle

In the beginning there was fuck all.  "shit I'm bored" said a large white man with a bushy white beard, "fuck up Santa" said God.

God moved a tentacle over some feces and created man, she then took a spare rib dripping in BBQ sass and created all the sexy weemen in da hoose.

"What ya doing there God? hey they kinda look like me" said Santa otherwise known as Old Nick.

"I'm making a world full of angry pompous twats for us to fuck wit."

"Yeah yeah" said an excited Santa as he rubbed his cock, "make them some rules ... no commandments that sounds better that goes against their very being."

"Oh you mean like, 'be total cunts' or 'fuck the little children' that sort of thing?"  God rubbed the spaghetti out of her single glowing red eye, "no we can't be that bad, I'll give them commandments that they'll want to follow, but I'll give them low esteem and doubt just to mix it up a notch .... oh and raging hormones and cancers, heh heh."

And so it was written that God soon grew bored after watching his (God changes sex) demi-god son getting tortured to death and moved on to the next planet. "Mars was far more fun" it (and species) said with a wave of its cosmic tail.