Friday, 12 October 2012

War Heroes Don't Brag

Old Knudsen is a decorated war hero who lives in Santa Monica with his 2 dogs.

There cums a time every few years or so that Old Knudsen meets new people who question his 'reality' ...... his being real that is.
Old Knudsen is a man, if you have any doubts then we can meet up in a darkened alleyway, you bring the lube and some money for drink .
Sometimes Old Knudsen likes to morph himself into the shape of a space monkey and hump faces.

He is a time traveler and explorer of inner, outer and parking space. You may very well be related to Old Knudsen as he has had countless conquests amongst female kind but he is too much of a gentleman to say about it, ask yer Ma for details.

I won't be doing any DNA checks if we meet up in a bar and have chemistry .... don't fight the lust.

That awkward moment when you find out yer gurlfriend has a bigger cock than you.

Old Knudsen is no bigot, he is a ferocious supporter of equality, especially for chicks with dicks ..... cos Gog put dicks on weemen it doesn't make them any less sexy or feminine, trust Old Knudsen on that.

Old Knudsen is ex military but does not like to talk about that. The dreams are terrible ya know. I'm going through a tunnel on a train that gets hit by a tsunami when it cums out and then babies rain from the sky ........... war is Hell.
He has seen the worst of human nature and expects that from all he meets but is surprised every now and then when he sees the best.
There is no hope for humanity but the game has started so lets play it through.

A passionate man he discusses issues others fear to and is firmly against all forms of bullying... unless hes doing it.  However he does bore easily so if ya use big words and stick to a stupid illogical point he will drift away after telling you what you should be thinking. You can have the last word but you lost ages ago.

Yes he may change opinion half way through a sentence ... its not really to piss you off he just gets his timelines confused and then theres the meds hes on. If it pisses you off thats just the gravy baby.

Many folks doubt Old Knudsen but haters gonna hate and who cares? He has long stopped caring what others think because ya have to be true to yerself not others.

He'll bang on about things like Julian Assange being a rapist when everyone else is going on about 'poor man the US are persecuting him' then 10 years later it turns out Assange was a pedo. Hindsight is 20/20 when you time travel.

Accept Old Knudsen or just fuck away off makes no odds to him. The people of the Middle east which is a cuntry near Germany have honored Old Knudsen with a Fatwa, an ancient title which means 'Lord' or 'Big lad.'

For those who do not accept him, enjoy being wrong. Yer probably used to it. Yer those people that don't get humour but think you do and go off and be secretly resentful because you think people are mocking you and it only comes out when you drink with sarcastic comments..... we are mocking you.