Monday, 1 October 2012

Monday ...... Again

Isn't this the most wonderful picture ever? ..... its a near naked midget on a nice sunny day holding a young chimp.
Ok let me put it this way ..... its a fucking almost naked midget on a nice sunny day holding a fucking cute baby fucking chimp! ..... fucking coooool.

The only thing that spoils it is the state of yon grass.

Anyway its Monday and if Facebook is anything to go by you lot and a whiny bunch of wusses, "oh no Monday, why does it always happen at this time of the week?" or "Monday we meet again, this time I shall win."

Fucking well grow a pair. Now look what uncle Knudsen has done for you, no matter what yer problem is today:

I called the blackmailer's bluff and now my wife and my boss know what I did last summer.

Just found out I've got 3 months to live and I can't afford not to go to work. I work at a suicide help desk, I'll give those fuckers something to be depressed about. 

My wife has run off with my best friend .... I'll miss that dog.   The wife wasn't the dog, it was really a dog ..... get it?   ah just fuck off! 

I can't get tickets to the New kids on the block/Back street boys 'we're back spectacular' concert.

I can't find the right Leonard Cohen song that mirrors my mood without looking like a total pretentious cunt.

I just killed 3 people, should I really keep impersonating surgeons? What would Leonard Cohen do?

Its just so fucking awesome Old Knudsen wants to cry, no he really does but since finding out that the latest series of Dr Who is utter shite Old Knudsen finds himself to be devoid of tears. His boils still weep though.

OMG! I can't stop looking at it, its like this midget holding the chimp makes my life complete.

What a great start to October, you guys totally owe me. Have a wicked awesome super duper Monday.