Monday, 29 October 2012

Hurricane Sandy Destroys New York

Manhattan island destroyed, Jersey under attack by mer-people. Hurricane Sandy continues to batter the east coast of America. The "Frankenstorm" has not only been blowing wind chimes and knocking over plant pots but it has also been infecting.

Sam Wisehiemer from the Bronx was mutated into a bald killing machine.

"Its terrible, I just want to growl and rip living people apart. What is my motivation? I don't know. I think it maybe be pre-election rage, I was really getting inundated with memes on FaceBook and then the storm and the full moon tonight probably isn't help."

Mr Wisehiemer then spotted a family packing up their station wagon and charged at them ... yuck what a mess, bottled water everywhere.

We're really missing the heroes of old. Will Smith is such a pussy.

President Obama is telling the people that this storm is being treated very seriously "My message to the governors as well as to the mayors is anything they need, we will be there, and we will cut through red tape,"

Senator Romney is being strangely quiet waiting for Obama to make a mistake or to overact so then he can say "I told you so" ..... what a little bitch.... such a potential leader. 

The National guard on the streets of New York are trying to keep the mutants at bay. A special unit have been playing Resistance 3 non-stop as a form of training. They have been preparing for this for years and are itching to shoot the heads of undead New Yorkers.

All electronics and machines in the NYC area no longer work. Makeup and eye shadow still work though and yer hair won't suffer one bit.

You know who survives in a post-apocalyptic landscape? Hairdressers, short well trimmed hair is still the fashion for men and weemen will still want to go blonde.
Keep children away from open windows and seal up rooms with duct tape and plastic. 

If you are on the east coast of America then yer probably already dead. The good news is that there will be a slew of movies in the next year and you'll always be remembered by cheesy acting and shite scripts.

For those survivors out there, we have not given up hope on you, well Romney has as yer probably ghey loving baby killing liberals.
Stay indoors after dark and don't go outside, even if you hear screams.