Wednesday, 10 October 2012

A Bail Out For Assange

The nine people who put up bail for Wikileaks founder Julian Assange have been ordered to pay thousands of pounds each after Assange flouted the law and hid in the Ecuadorian embassy in London to avoid rape accusations in Sweden.

A total of £93,500 must be paid by 6th November. Assange fears that if he is extradited to Sweden he will be sent to the US to be questioned about publishing classified documents on his Wikileaks website. Swedish prosecutors have said he won't be sent to the US but we all know that Assange just doesn't want to be jailed for rape.

Well since Assange pulled a fast one and jumped bail its time to send in the big guns.

Dog the bounty hunter is the man for the job. Trained by the late, great Chuck Norris in the art of Nin-ja-fu and beard trimming, Dog will fuck you up.

Ecuadorian embassy, fuck you! The last time Dog looked on a map Ecuador was in south America, Dog is an American so hes cumming to get you Assange and after he catches you he'll tell you to find God and stop raping weemen cos its not nice.

Vaughan Smith, a friend of Mr Assange said all those who had offered the money for bail were "convinced that they have done and are doing the right thing, we didn't know he was such a cunt, maybe he is a rapist after all".
Dog who is a bit of a hypocritical racist type is the right man to hunt doon a hypocritical rapist type.

"Well just maybe as Assange sits in the back of my SUV I'll put on some more hair spray and get Assange in the face by accident." Chuckled Dog real name Duane with a flick of his golden locks.   

Those who trusted Assange were: retired professor Tricia David £10,000, Lady Caroline Evans £15,000, Joseph Farrell £3,500, Sarah Harrison £3,500, journalist Phillip Knightley £15,000, friend Sarah Saunders £12,000, friend Vaughan Smith £12,000, scientist Sir John Sulston £15,000 and Baroness Tracy Worcester £7,500.

Dog who is an ex-convict and bail jumper himself knows the criminal mind, even though he is not allowed to carry firearms his fists are all he needs as they are deadly weapons ..... just his fists.    

It must be pointed out in case you missed it, his wife Beth has giant boobs ...... of justice and nipples of jurisdiction. Her early menopause makes her a formidable opponent. 

The UK has said it has a legal obligation to see that Mr Assange is handed over to Sweden. Dog has a ratings obligation to hype up the drama.