Wednesday, 31 October 2012

Charlie Sheen Sex Tape

You want scary? I'll give you scary . Lindsay Lohan and Charlie Sheen have made a sex tape, you can find it  HERE .

If any of you hovered over the HERE to see if it was a link well yer just a sick fucker. 


Romney's Puppy Eyes

Romney doesn't let the media bother him. He lives in his own elitist bubble in which people are better than others due to the size of their bank balance and what church they belong to, a world in which single parents are responsible for gun violence because every child needs a mother and a father ... you know, like Ted Bundy had and a world in which he has to be told to hire qualified weemen as found in his binders of muff.

The man who said that FEMA and giving government assistance was immoral even though hes laundered millions of dollars through what is listed on his tax returns as “charitable donations” by exploiting loopholes in the law.... is that immoral? 
You don't get rich by paying taxes and giving money to charity ya know and Romney intends to stay rich.

Chris Christie the Governor of New Jersey has become a fan of Obama. Not only did he get the President's personal phone line but has been in constant contact with him. When Obama asked what he could do to help, Christie said, 'make New Jersey a major disaster zone so they can get federal aid faster to clean up the damage' two hours later it was done. 

Can you see Romney doing that?  Romney instead planned a photo-op touring the disaster site. The Governor said that he would not be joining the presidential wanna be as he had a job to do. Just stay out of the way Romney unless you want to donate a few million, Donald Trump has 5 million to waste on his whims and you could buy and sell that cunt.

Why isn't Romney working with aid agencies ?  the man can certainly afford it ... oh yeah, he makes money he doesn't give it to others. Public opinion is not gained by fake photo ops like cleaning clean pans at a homeless shelter.

Look at Romney's latest expression, thats called sympathy. Its a new one but I think the eye watering is a nice touch. Of course its actions not words that counts as Romney's opinion changes with the wind.
If you vote for Romney you obviously hate America, it doesn't take a genius to see that Romney is a bad un.


New Star Wars Movies

So George Lucas needs to pay the rent. Hes negotiating with Disney to make 3 more Star Wars movies. Yeah!!! more shite.
There will be more CGI beasts, more CGI action and less plot, character development and originality as they drag the stories doon.

Luke Skywalker will be Luke Walkingframe. No hans will be lost but hips will shatter.

The movies will continue on after Return of the Jedi and Lucas has been in talks with One Direction to star as the main Characters.
They have the hair and can't act..... perfect!

Star Wars the early years will be on screens next year to wet yer appetites. Jimmy Savile, a firm fav with the kids was originally to play Obi Wan but his death got in the way of production... A holographic Savile maybe? 

Carrie Fisher who played the original Princess Leia will not be in the movies as her face scares young kids. 

 Who will be the new Princess Leia?

 Old Knudsen wouldn't mind destroying Kim Kardashian's death star

 Auctions will be held in my bedroom.

 Put some hot chicks in the movies and who gives a shit about the rest?

Gary Glitter who is largely unknown to the US market will play the Speedo menace.


Former pop star Jon Bon Jelly needs yer help.

Scary Post

I am death warmed up, I am the Lord of the dance settee. I shit ying and piss with me yang, I am the alpha and the Omega 3, there can be only one as I am discontinued .

Its all hallows eve or as we call it in Ireland the Isle of Destiny ........ hump day. A time when you can cross half way to the other side and meet with dear departed loved ones or if they didn't like you they'll send their mates round to fuck you up with FEAR. A night when anything is possible and yes you are being watched.

Halloween time. I was just out with a couple of mates that I dug up.

Yer worse fear about getting molested by clown may becum reality.

Get or give head, who doesn't like head?

Did you enjoy the recent full moon?

Oh boy, an evil tongue at both ends.

Ok stop being a fraidy cat the post is over.

Tuesday, 30 October 2012


 Previously in Backwards Northern Ireland:

The marching season which happens every year occurs in which the Protestant Orange Order march where ever they want with bands wearing mock military outfits and playing protestant tunes to celebrate the 1690 victory of the battle of the Boyne.
The marches often go through or near Catholic areas or past churches. The Catholic community do not want this as these parades are nothing but intimidation from the Protestant majority and are often the cause of rioting from both sides.

This year Protestant bands disrespected a Catholic church by stopping in front of it and playing anti-Catholic tunes, there was major rioting in Protestant areas by Protestants and a bandsman urinated on another Catholic church.

The Parades Commission which is a government body that tries to have peaceful parades told the bands to respect the churches and only play hymns while walking past them or a single drum beat.

The last parade of this year's stretched out season went off peacefully, except for the last band which played drum solos on the way past.         

Sam McCrory, a past master of the Loyal Orange Order which is also laughingly called LOL, said bands played music along the stretch as a protest.

“It was done as a protest to the pro-apartheid organisation, otherwise known as the Parades Commission.
“Because it seems to be that we now have an apartheid system in Northern Ireland where we are, and excuse the terminology, where we are the blacks. That’s the way we feel.” 

Has Old Knudsen missed something

I don't think  apartheid means what you think it means you fucking moron. Go ask Mandela if his struggle is in any way similar to yers. You get fed, educated and whatever jobs you want. When was the last time the police ran into you with batons drawn and shot rubber bullets shot at you aimed to kill?

Sam McCrory, if you and yer buddies think that you are the blacks then yer as thick as pigs shit. The Troubles were started over civil rights abuse against the Catholics, they were being held back from education and jobs by the Protestants ... remember? They were keep down in poverty .... remember?

The Catholics are the blacks. You may play the race card everytime you aren't allowed to bully someone  but no one I repeat NO ONE thinks of your organisation as anything but smug bigots full of hatred aimed at the Catholic minority and anything Irish .... even though yer grandparents or great grandparents were Irish but hey lets not get into facts, you don't like facts.

The Orange Order sounds just like the KKK, we aren't against anyone and just want to further God's word. Only his Protestant words that is as no Catholics are allowed to join. 

The KKK wanted to further the white race in America but had nothing against the niggers ... er people of colour.

You aren't even fooling yerself  Mr McCrory, ever met a black person?  wise the fuck up, typical abuser behaviour claiming that you are the victim. 
Yer people run the government with token Catholics at their side, you need to be put in yer place but the right place.

Hurricane Sandy Update

Here is the latest news on Hurricane Sandy, if yer prone to bouts of panic then stop reading.

There may be scattered showers and heavy winds. Take a taxi.

A military guard was first posted on March 25, 1926. The first 24-hour guard was posted on midnight, July 2, 1937. The Tomb of the Unknowns has been guarded continuously, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, since that time. Inclement weather, terrorist attacks, etc do not cause the watch to cease.

How noble ..... how fucking stupid! was the unknown soldier really Jesus and they are expecting him to come back? How come he gets special treatment ? there have been loads of soldiers with names who have sacrificed as much, do their tombs/small graves get guarded? its a fucking depression, lay off the silly expenses.    Get the troops out delivering the mail if they are so tough, a tiny bit of bad weather and the US postal service just forgets to deliver.

Why aren't those troops fighting looters? 

Now don't go telling me there aren't any looters. Its America, I've seen the movies.

All cheerleaders look like this.

Oh fuck sake......

I wonder if all the flooding in England and Wales this year made the US news.We didn't complain, we held pool parties in the sewer water .... the stiff upper lip, make do attitude that got us through the blitz still lives ... unlike most of those who swan in the sewer water though.

There can be only one winner from this and the world is watching. 
Romney fucked himself by saying government aid was immoral. Privatising FEMA indeed. He has peeps everywhere and he wants to make them all money somehow.
Going by the ant-socialist theme that is America, you should let the people rot. The US government isn't there to help the people in times of disaster yet everyone expects it .... not having health care, losing yer job and home due to illness seems like a disaster yet many don't think that the government should help. 
America was built on hard work and bravery, it was also built on ethnic cleansing but thats something that gets ignored.    

What The Vatican Doesn't Want You To Know

What would priests do if they didn't have any kids to diddle? More kids must be born unwanted and put into the system so no one cares what happens to them.

If you support pro-life rather than pro-choice then you support pedophilia.

Monday, 29 October 2012

'Like' A Virgin

Old Knudsen is a man .... 100%  manmal. Sure he adapts and overcums in whatever situation needs it but he does it in a manly way, in other words hes always the daddy - never the mummy.


Old Knudsen feels a little guilty. To the Jap who bought Catarina Migliorini's virinity for $780,000 and intends to collect on it next week.

Just make sure to keep the receipt. If you wanted to be technical about it, she is still a virgin, in her left ear.
Old Knudsen does not kiss and tell as he is a gentleman, actually there was no kissing, well not on the mouth. Some licking, spitting, tongue flicking and a bit of biting but no kissing.

I don't want to appear crude to an audience I've had for years whom I have nothing but the utmost respect for but put it like this. If she was a car, Old Knudsen filled her up with leaded until her tank over flowed .... Ka-Chow!


Zomney Supporters

Experts say that 97% of Romney supporters are easily influenced, slow, shuffling creatures of low intellect who will feed on others to ensure their own survival and have no brains of their own.  

The other 3% are criminally insane evil wizards employed by Fox news. 

"We shall feed off America's trouble making intellectuals, gheys and uppity women and have an America the common man can relate to with 1950's values and nukes pointing at the foreigners that we can't make money from."


Hurricane Sandy Destroys New York

Manhattan island destroyed, Jersey under attack by mer-people. Hurricane Sandy continues to batter the east coast of America. The "Frankenstorm" has not only been blowing wind chimes and knocking over plant pots but it has also been infecting.

Sam Wisehiemer from the Bronx was mutated into a bald killing machine.

"Its terrible, I just want to growl and rip living people apart. What is my motivation? I don't know. I think it maybe be pre-election rage, I was really getting inundated with memes on FaceBook and then the storm and the full moon tonight probably isn't help."

Mr Wisehiemer then spotted a family packing up their station wagon and charged at them ... yuck what a mess, bottled water everywhere.

We're really missing the heroes of old. Will Smith is such a pussy.

President Obama is telling the people that this storm is being treated very seriously "My message to the governors as well as to the mayors is anything they need, we will be there, and we will cut through red tape,"

Senator Romney is being strangely quiet waiting for Obama to make a mistake or to overact so then he can say "I told you so" ..... what a little bitch.... such a potential leader. 

The National guard on the streets of New York are trying to keep the mutants at bay. A special unit have been playing Resistance 3 non-stop as a form of training. They have been preparing for this for years and are itching to shoot the heads of undead New Yorkers.

All electronics and machines in the NYC area no longer work. Makeup and eye shadow still work though and yer hair won't suffer one bit.

You know who survives in a post-apocalyptic landscape? Hairdressers, short well trimmed hair is still the fashion for men and weemen will still want to go blonde.
Keep children away from open windows and seal up rooms with duct tape and plastic. 

If you are on the east coast of America then yer probably already dead. The good news is that there will be a slew of movies in the next year and you'll always be remembered by cheesy acting and shite scripts.

For those survivors out there, we have not given up hope on you, well Romney has as yer probably ghey loving baby killing liberals.
Stay indoors after dark and don't go outside, even if you hear screams.


King Of Fears

 I'll hunt you down and kill you but don't be hatin, I got issues...

So Ya Like Life ...

The unwanted children who end up in care, you know the ones who aren't adopted by all those life living protesters, almost half achieve no school qualifications with only 13% getting decent grades. One in four prisoners were in care, as were one in three homeless. One in five gurls in care are pregnant within a year of leaving.

Sunday, 28 October 2012

Old Knudsen Invents Misery Upmanship

Misery Upmanship ...... to teach someone for making a glib comment about any thing that could cause sorrow in order to put them in their place.

Mainly used by the bitter and the socially awkward. 


Person #1: Justin Bieber's music makes me want to shoot myself.   

Person#2: My father shot himself.

Person #1: Um ok, but really given the choice between his music and cancer I'd choose cancer.

Person#2: He shot himself because he had cancer.

Person#1: Shit! I mean aids, I'd rather have aids than go to a Bieber concert.

Person#2: My best friend died of aids.

Person#1: Run over by a space shuttle?

Person#2: My friend's uncle's niece .....  

Misery Upmanship only works if the person making the glib comment gives a fuck.

Richard Mourdock Praises Your Rape

"I struggled with it myself for a long time"
                          "I struggled with it myself for a long time"
                                                    "I struggled with it myself for a long time"
                                                                                                               "long time"
                                                                                                                         "long time"

                                        "I came"

"to realize that life is that gift from God and I think even when life begins in that horrible situation of
  rape that it is something God intended to happen."

"Like cancer, serial killers, hurricanes, herpes, and the disabled. I don't need no stinking vaccines its all God's will, when a family die in a house fire, rejoice! Its all the big 'G' baby."  

"I spoke from the heart and most importantly."

"I know I gained votes and I know I gained supporters."

Some Face Time

The GOP think that people on Welfare are losers, Old Knudsen disagrees. Eric Hartsburg auctioned off a 5-by-2 inch spot on the right side of his face for the highest bidder. An anonymous Republican eBay user bought it for $15,000. 

Most Republicans if they have any sense should remain anonymous, ya stupid, racist, misogynistic homophobes.  

Luckily the moronic former wrestler Hartsburg is a Romney supporter. $15,000 ..... away an fuck. Face tattoos just scream low class DICKHEAD! and its not even a good one. Is the logo not supposed to have straight lines? Is it not red, white and blue instead of red, flesh and blue? Also after the 6th November Romney will vanish like Gore, McCain, Kerry and all the other failures and Hartsburg will still have a reminder of the failure on his ugly, stupid fuck face.

He is what a loser is...     

Scary ....

Fucking spooky huh? it gives Old Knudsen a scary big boner.

Pussy Galore

I like Sundays .... well not really, I do like featuring hotties on a Sunday though. Let the sexy weemen do the work and give Old Knudsen some rest from the idiots in this world.

Kelly Hu a model and actress in such movies like The Scorpion King, X-men 2 and many TV shows and voice overs.

Her talents are considerable.

And she has a lovely pussy.