Monday, 10 September 2012

Northern Ireland Tourist Bored

Why not visit Northern Ireland?  97% of Northern Ireland's visitors are people who think its all one big friendly leprechaun loving cuntry called Ireland so why not holiday here by mistake too?

In the cities that are really just small towns anywhere else in the world you'll see just how friendly we are when we insist on sharing yer car.  If you make it past the road blocks, past the burning dogs set on fire just for fun you'll see miles and miles of nothing ......... er I mean lush beautiful cuntryside.

Visit or churches/political halls and discover how you will burn in Hell if you don't vote DUP. Soak up the culture but try not to look too out of place or you'll experience the local custom of 'Getting yer pan knocked in.'

Laugh when you find that half the cuntry is closed on Sundays.  Travel to the North-West, the home of ancient spide poets where rape 'is' legitimate .

A friendly people who never smile and look at you accusingly ........ the warmth in implied.

Northern Ireland 2012 ..... Come here by accident ..... Stay because you're in hospital.