Saturday, 1 September 2012

50 Shades Of Life

 True life love inspired by 50 Shades of Grey

Jimbo Black removed his very long index finger from his nose and wiped it on his track suit bottoms, his eyes feasting on her naked body as she stood before him. 
The sly smile he gave as he looked at her lady parts told her that she was gonna get it.

He stepped forward and shoved her backwards onto the bed, kneeling doon he kissed her deeply but not on the mouth.
Her stench trench tasted like piss and smelled like fags but his tongue found all the right places even flicking the odd genital wart. He stood, her blood soaked tampon hanging by it's string between his teeth.

'OMG' she thought, 'this is going to be like Ibiza' images of that drunken night on holiday flooded her mind.

He reached over to her furry dressing gown hanging on the back of the door and removed the waist tie. "shove up" he said with a head nod, she wriggled up the bed on her back until her hands reached the Victorian metal railing headboard ....... fucking classy it was. 

The glint in his eyes spelled dangerous intent and his tracksuit pants fought against his bulging damp lust.
He climbed on the bed pressing himself against her as he tied her hands tightly to the rails.

Suddenly the sound of Dizzee Rascal rapping could be heard in the next room, "theres my phone be back in a mo."

She lay there uncomfortable wishing she could check her own phone as he talked loudly and laughed in the other room. After five minutes she could hear him wrapping up the call and finally to her relief he said see ya later mate, she really needed to pee.

"See ya later love I'm off to the pub with Minty and Kav" he shouted followed by a door slam.

Her rage replaced the horny and swelled up within her, "Jimbo! get yer arse back here or I'm gonna knock 50 shades of shite outta ya!"