Tuesday, 28 August 2012

Take It To The Bridge

Why did director/producer Tony Scott kill himself by jumping from an LA bridge? There has been conflicting reports that he had cancer but we at OBB have another theory.

Just 48 hours previously he was with actor Tom Cruise scoping out locations for the sequel to Top Gun.

"Depressed? don't take anti-depressants do some jumping jacks and pray to the darklord Xanthan."

"Tony I just thought I'd text you with my latest great idea ..... its Top Gun but in space"

Scott had a moment. What the fuck has my life cum to? I'm reduced to making Top Gun 2 with Tom Cruise a 50 year-old Top Gun pilot. Who are we going to fight against? Maybe I could have them fight against North Korea like the Red Dawn re-make.

"We got multiple inbound bogies 11 O'Clock request permission to open fight.'"

What! fucking bi-planes? I can't even make a money grabbing sequel without 'really' suspending belief . This walking isn't doing my depression any good, oh great another text from Cruise, oh make it about Maverick's family life with an evil controlling wife who is a Satanist, fuck that lad has issues, oh look a bridge.