Saturday, 28 July 2012

Danny Boyle Is The Man!

Old Knudsen was disqualified from the first set for repeatedly aiming at the crowd

Did you see the Olympic opening ceremony? Old Knudsen was watching it while sipping some very fine brandy with his feet up in front of a 84 inch HD TV. Ah living the dream.... you jelly much?

Thankfully the home owners who mentioned about going out on their FaceBook page came home  late so Old Knudsen got to watch it all before the screaming and the running began.

To sum up the basics for any cunt who didn't watch it and yes you are a cunt. Danny Boyle the director of such movies like Trainspotting, Shallow grave, 28 weeks later and Slumdog millionaire organized it all. He made it about the people he made it quirky and British giving a brief history lesson and summery of British culture.

I watched it and cringed when the 19th century gentlemen in top hats did an angry hand jive while Kenneth Branagh stood there grinning from ear to ear with fake sideburns reciting Shakespeare .

"Oh no its going to be really lame and corny" thought I.

As it progressed it just became amazing. A short film with Daniel Craig as James Bond meeting the real Queen who then joins him for a helicopter ride and they both parachute out, then the real Queen enters the Olympic arena.

Giant glowing Olympic rings floating over head, drums, dancing and Mr Bean running in Chariots of fire.
There was dancing and hits from all decades and a nod to the Brit who invented the world wide web... yeah it was a Brit, not so smart now Yanks. 

The athletes all marched out in alphabetical order smiling away most of them holding up their cameras and accompanied by a youth carrying a copper petal . All the petals went onto a sculpture that raised up to form the Olympic cauldron, it was incredible.

Danny Boyle has set a standard never before achieved during the Olympics and it all worked. It was crazy and bizarre but the over all message was that the Olympics was for everyone.

Many foreigners won't get some of the references due to their naturally low IQ but it was fun to watch.

In 2005 the nation was on a high when it won the Olympic bid, that was soon changed when 24 hours later 4 suicide bombers blew up some buses killing 54 people. Those people that died were remembered in the opening ceremonies bringing emotion to the proceedings and the message that even Hitler couldn't stop the people of London so Romney you'd be smart to remember that the next time you open yer idiot mouth.

I'm sure Romney was watching it somewhere not getting a thing that was going on but hoping it would go wrong.

The only thing that was bad was that it finished at 1am. You can't keep the Queen and her zombie consort up to that time they looked knackered. 

Old Knudsen doesn't really do sports as its quite ghey but the Olympics are the exception (unless its tennis or scoccer) the archery, rowing, gymnastics and swimming are all interesting to watch and not just for the firm young bodies.


Ok maybe the volley ball is about firm young bodies.

Old Knudsen will be checking in on the sports now and again with tissues at the ready ...... for his allergies not his seaman ya dirty gits.

Old Knudsen uses a loose pair of socks or the curtains for his jizz like duh!

Many Northern Ireland athletes are in Team GB or Team Ireland so come on and show the world that we are more than just bigoted, uneducated, drunken louts .

Hats off to you Mr Boyle it was a great show and nicely done. Old Knudsen was made proud for a change.