Friday, 29 June 2012

I Feel The Need, The Need For A Lawyer

You may have noticed that Old Knudsen has mentioned Tom Cruise a couple of times over the last few days, this is because Old Knudsen has been on the phone with the guy for hours on end, "side with me Old Knudsen" he says "I need to be on your famous world wide blog for the fight ahead."

What fight you may ask? ...... Tom and Katie are getting divorced.

Old Knudsen is stating for the record that Katie (ball buster) Holmes did not find Tom in bed with John Travolta who then tried to pass off their actions as a Scientology purging exercise and was totally legit.

This is personal business and the couple need to be left alone to deal with this. Any crazy stories about Tom sacrificing puppies to the dark lord Xanthan or cloning himself and forcing Katie into orgies are just total lies to make Tom look bad.

Old Knudsen asks for respect, if not for them then for little Surrey the demon spawn extracted from  L. Ron Hubbard's DNA.

A Scientology divorce takes place in complete silence and consists of the couple miming the terms of divorce, child custody gets settled by choosing two champions who fight with foam weapons while standing on pedestals in complete darkness, the first champion to fall loses care of the child for the parent. 

Its all very modern and costs a vast amount of money.