Saturday, 12 May 2012

Sonic Weapon Goes For Olympic Gold

A sonic weapon was spotted attached to a landing craft on the river Thames. The weapon made by a company in San Diego ..... America can send out a beam of pain-inducing tones similar to that experienced during a Celine Dion concert.

 Celine Dion who enjoys turnips and whose star sign is Leo

The ministry of defense has confirmed the device has been bought for security during the Olympics and will mostly be used as a hail speaker to give hooligan types and Islamic terrorists a stern telling off if they cause any bother.

The sonic weapon is the latest in the arsenal of freedom to be used during the Olympics, other precautions include  a high velocity Rapier missile system set up on roof tops, Typhoon jets, Lynx, Sea King and Puma helicopters, snipers, hungry bears and 20,000 angry military and police personnel. 

The MOD are confident that in the unlikely event that Johnny camel jockey tries anything Christian death will rain from the skies, the river Thames will be red with blood and everything within a 5 mile radius will be melted .
Event organizers hope that everyone will have a good time and wish to remind ticket holders that bringing water and other liquids into venues is prohibited, items can be purchased for a vast amount of money on site.  

1 comment:

Reggie said...

You're right, Celine Dion is absolutely the worst.