Tuesday, 8 May 2012

Belfast Marathon Winner

If you've been on Old Knudsen's Facebook page you'd know he was running the Belfast marathon.

Thank you to all the well wishers that supported Old Knudsen £2.54 was raised for the charity 'Blind puppy love' oh and you'll get yer fcuking money stop bugging me about it ya spongers.

Old Knudsen believes in keeping hydrated during feats of intense exercise and also during bowel movements which at his age are feats of intense exercise . It was the keeping hydrated which caused Old Knudsen to step onto a bus 2 miles into the run, by accident of course as the sun came out and in Belfast that is a rare occurrence.
Old Knudsen was blinded by it and stumbled onto the bus and to add to the confusion 3 people burst into flames due to whatever their fake orange tans were made from.

The bus wasn't going anywhere near the finish line no matter how much Old Knudsen swore at the driver.
So getting off I had to go into the nearest pub to hydrate and lube up my balls some more.  Aye take a picture it'll last longer, its like some people have never seen anyone balls deep in Vaseline while waiting for their pint.

£2.54 doesn't go very far but as soon as you tell folk that yer a veteran of wars foreign and domestic and that yer running for blind puppy love , drinks will be bought for you. Plus Old Knudsen's  fcuking charm is irresistible.

Cut a long story short Old Knudsen ended up in the middle of nowhere near a big orange bridge. The people all spoke with funny accents and didn't know where the finish line at the Ormeau park was. Must have been Londonderry/Derry Old Knudsen was very lucky not to have gotten raped there. 

Old Knudsen had to call in a few favours to get to the finish line. Do not trust the oxygen systems on those F-22 Raptors if yer ever on one thats all Old Knudsen is saying imagine what Old Knudsen would be like if his brain had been deprived of oxygen.

My finishing time was 11 hours and 41 mins which is pretty good as I actually managed to finish. The park was closed and Old Knudsen had to climb over the wall but he made it by Jove.... and by taxi.


1 comment:

Reggie said...

The only place I'll run to is the toilet.