Tuesday, 29 May 2012

Androids Used In Modern Warfare

I'll get one of the air force guys to figure it out for me, maybe set Lady Ga Ga on my ringtone

The US military do like to spend the money, not only do they want to have combat tough iPhones now they find that they need combat survivable flame retardant gloves too ..... Its always something with those Yanks. Oh and cammo coloured cases for each branch of the services while yer at it.

Never mind Smartphones when Old Knudsen served Queen and cuntry we thought calculators were smart, they could do sums and you could turn them upside doon and write BOOBS.

When fighting the fuzzies Old Knudsen did not feel the need to update his Facebook status, "Omg sum1 S lk 100% shootin @ me, nt QL."

Old Knudsen is as hard as iron and his trombone is rusty as fcuk!   

Soldier 1: "Did you see that?    Soldier 2: what?

Soldier 1: Explosion I just pissed my pants.    Soldier 2: Who gives a flying fuck?

Soldier 1: What are you doing?    Soldier 2: Tits on Old Bitter Balls not now chief I'm in the fucking zone.

Soldier 1: You fucking asshole    Soldier 2: Fuck off and die 

Its fcuking shite says Old Knudsen, its bad enough that you have to wait in a shop until someone puts doon their phone before they serve you now you have to wait for people to update their Twatter before you begin combat, unless its an ambush of course but that would be kind of rude.  

Speaking of rude don't get Old Knudsen started on them iPoddy things, ya cannae shout random abuse at people any more because the fcukers can't hear you. Ignoring people has gone from being an art form to becoming the norm. 

Soldier 1: Did you see that?    Soldier 2: Big shit eating grin.